Breathless
by IWriteNaked
Summary: Clary has lived with her abusive father, since her mother died. After her brother moved out, the abuse got worse. What happens when Valentine dies, and Clary has to live with a foster family? Follow Clary through sadness, fear, loneliness, learning to trust again and finally falling in love. Clace, Malec, Sizzy. AU. OOC. Warning: adult content. Just click!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! Thank you so much for clicking!**

**This is my first fanfiction, and it's going to be kind of twisted for a while. There may be some graphic scenes of physical and emotional abuse. I'll try not to be go into too much detail about any sexual abuse, unless that's something you would be interested in reading. Let me know.**

**If abuse of any kind, adult language (I have a foul mouth), and potentially smut bother you, please do not read this story. You have been warned, so anything that happens beyond this point is your own responsibility. Read at your own risk. This story has adult content.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary-

I woke up this morning with a melancholy sort of feeling. It was the kind of feeling that feels like it shouldn't belong. Something that tilted the world on its axis, and not in a good way either. I tried to draw this feeling, but all that came out was a child sitting in a window seat. Her hand was raised up to the glass, and it looked like an eggplant. Her face a distorted. _I wish I could draw like mother did._

"Clarissa! Get your ass down here! I'm hungry." Valentine called from downstairs. I jumped from my bed, red hair spreading out in every direction, still wearing my pajamas. I rushed downstairs in a hurry, hoping not to anger him.

I hear someone approaching as I reach the bottom step. When arms wrap around me, I stiffen my entire body. My feet are lifted entirely from the ground, and I do my best not to gasp when whoever this is comes into contact with my bruised body. My heart beats like a drum against my chest, and I assume that he is going to hurt me. I'm certain that anyone else in the room can hear my heartbeat as clearly as I can.

I feel my feet being place firmly back on the soft beige carpet. All of my fear is set aside when I realize that I was being greeted by my favorite person in the world: my brother Jonathan. My savior.

"Jon!" I call out, pulling him back into a hug. "I've missed you." I say a little quieter.

"I've missed you too, CC." he says, smiling down at me. "I'm sorry I haven't been around more. I hope you're okay. He hasn't hurt you too badly, has he?" he whispers the last part, making sure that Valentine doesn't hear.

I shake my head no, but I call tell that he saw the lie that flashed in my eyes. _The beatings get a little worse every day _I think, but I don't tell him.

Jonathan and I moved in with our father, Valentine, two years ago after our mother was killed in a drive by shooting. I was 14 at the time. Jonathan was 17, and he couldn't get out fast enough. The second her turned 18 he was gone, but he left me with a promise to come back and see me. He said that as soon as he could, he'd come back for me, and get me out of here. That was a little over a year ago. Jon turned 19 last month, and I will be 16 in 2 weeks time. I'd never tell Jonathan, but I've lost all hope of ever getting out alive.

"Clarissa! Stop fucking around, and make breakfast!" Valentine yells from the living room.

"Yes, sir." I call, making my way to the kitchen. I decide to make Jon's favorite breakfast: bagels with strawberry cream cheese, and a glass of original almond milk.

After preparing the bagels, I poor 3 tall glasses of almond milk and carry them on a tray into the sitting room.

"Clary!" Jonathan says, excitedly "You made my favorite!" He grabs a bagel, and takes a ridiculously large bite, moaning in a approval.

After the three of us finish eating our breakfast I clear the dishes, and place them in the dishwasher. When I walk back into the living room, Valentine looks me up and down. I'm suddenly aware of my appearance. " Clarissa, go upstairs and get cleaned up. You look like a slob. I'm tired of looking at you anyways.

"See you later, Clary." Jonathan adds, before I leave the room.

I rush upstairs, to do as he says.

-Later-

"Hey, CC. I've got to go now." Jonathan says from the doorway of my bedroom.

I get up to hug him goodbye. "When will you be back?"

"I don't know. Soon, I promise." He envelopes me in a gentle hug, careful not to hurt me this time.

"Bye" I whisper, sadly. Please take me with you, soon.

He closes the door behind him. I listen to his footsteps getting quieter and quieter, until I can't hear them anymore at all. All I can hear is the roar of his engine, as he drives away. The feeling of abandonment washes over me, followed by fear when I hear Sebastian's voice from the staircase.

"Cllllllary!" he sings, stomping loudly as his feet hit each step.

I know what is coming next. I've been here before. When he enters my room, I do not fight him. I don't cry, or scream or do any of the things I know will turn him on. When he removes my clothing and throws me onto my bed, I close my eyes and think of England.

**I hope you all liked the first chapter of Breathless. I've read a lot of stories with Clary completely alone, and her brother joins Valentine in the abuse. I wanted to see what it could be like if she had a healthy relationship with her brother.**

**Let me know what you think, by leaving me a review! Any suggestions of what you'd like to see come out of this story is encouraged. I have a plan, but suggestions will be taken into consideration. Thank you for reading my first story!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	2. Chapter 2

**I was going to wait a few days to post another chapter, to see if people liked my story. Buuuut... I decided to keep writing if people like it or not.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments. I'm still just dicking around.**

-Clary-

I stand in the mirror, making eye contact with someone I do not know. Yellowcard plays softly from across my room. A few bright red strands of hair have fallen from my ponytail, in front of my pale face, and my vibrant green eyes.

I stare for so long that I've broken my face down into so many pieces that there's no way it can sum up to anything whole.

It's Monday, at eight AM. Valentine left for work an hour ago, leaving strict instructions for me not to leave the house. _As if I'd leave, anyways. Where would I go? I'm home schooled, and you've hardly allowed me to leave the house in the last two years. I don't even know my way around the city._

I know I should be doing something productive. Studying or cleaning, but I can't convince my aching body to move from this spot. I'm in pain from Valentines _warning _this morning. _"Just to make sure you don't disobey me, and leave the house." _he'd said. _As if I have anywhere to go._

Sebastian left sometime after I passed out. I assume he had to get home before his mother realized he was gone. He's lived next door for as long as I have been here. The first time I met him, I thought he was creepy. The way he looked at me, and always tried to be near me. I should have known what he wanted. I shouldn't have been surprised when Valentine noticed, and told Sebastian he could have me for the right price. _Fathers are supposed to protect their daughters, not sell them...  
_  
I never told Jonathan about Sebastian. I don't want him to know just how evil our father really is. I couldn't hide the abuse from him, because it started while he still lived here. I remember him yelling at Valentine to stop. He would push him away from me, but it never stopped him for long enough. As soon as Jon wasn't around, Valentine would finish what he started. Jon couldn't protect me all the time, but I can protect him. He never needs to know about Sebastian.

After a few more moments of silently hating my life, I convince myself that I need to clean the house. With sore muscles, and bruises covering my body, it takes most of the day. By the time the house is spotless, I have to start dinner.

I decide to make Steak and potatoes, hoping that if I make food he loves then I can get through the night without any new injuries.

"Clarissa, my dinner better be ready!" Valentine slurs, as he walks through the front door.  
"Y-yes, sir." I say, with a shaky voice. _Shit! He's drunk. _It doesn't matter what I do, he's going to hurt me. "Dinner is on the table." I tell him, trying to steady my voice.

I flinch when he walks toward me, with an angry look in his face. He looks like he might have been handsome once, but he got too angry, and anger changes people in more ways than one. He doesn't ever look like anything but the devil incarnate.

I don't even have the time to brace myself, or curse him before I feel my body being slammed into the wall over and over. Pain shoots through my back, my shoulder and ribs. He shows no signs of stopping. My body hits the wall, and my heart trashes violently in my chest. I lose count of how many times. He shoves me into the wall until it doesn't hurt anymore. Until everything goes black.

**Leave me a review, and tell me what you liked or didn't like about this chapter. Let me know if you have any ideas for what you'd like to see happen in this story.  
-IWriteNaked**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and followed my story!  
I'm sorry I wasn't able to update yesterday, but I got this up as soon as I could.**

**Someone requested lemons, and someone else said it was okay to go into detail about the sexual abuse. Considering that they were the only ones to mention it, I listened. If you don't like it, tell me in a review. I didn't make it violent or too detailed, and I've never written lemons before, so try to be understanding.**

**WARNING: this chapter contains (rapey) lemons (sort of). Do not read if you aren't comfortable with adult material.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments, or The Lost Cause I used to be. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary-  
I wake up, slumped down on the floor, dried blood matted in my untamable red hair. I gasp at the pain from my ribs as I lift myself from the ground, using the wall for leverage. _Badly bruised ribs. Possibly cracked. Fan-fucking-tastic._

Leaning against the wall for support, I make my way up the stairs. My breath catches as I trip on the last step, and catch myself just before smacking my face on the floor.

In the bathroom, the shower knob turns effortlessly. The water streams from the ends of my hair, tinted red with blood. I stand there, motionless, until it runs clear.

-Later-

Outside my window the leaves have started changing colors. There's a small cluster of seven trees on the left side of my back yard, beside the fence. It's been six weeks since my father has allowed me to go outside.

_The Lost Cause I used to be_ by a Loss For Words comes on my iPod, and I can nearly taste the irony.

**Living like a captive in my home.  
Feeling sorry for myself.  
Petrified to be alone.  
You should have been there to say to me  
"Hey boy, it's time to stop singing. It's time start living."**

I sing along as he says

**It's not much, but all we've got is each other.  
We are bitter, broken people, but at least we keep each other company  
in a world where we're trained to disagree.  
And to never fail to mention, you're a lo-**

I'm cut off by arm wrapping around me, from behind my back. I yank my earphones from my ears, and twist around to find myself face to face with Sebastian.

"I didn't know you could sing." he says, tightening his grip on me until it's painful.

"Not now, Sebastian. Please." I plead. He places his hand gently on my cheek, and I struggle not to pull away from him.

"Relax Clary. I'll take care of you." his voice is deceivingly kind. He presses his lips to mine, and I remind myself that resisting will make it worse. He tastes of cigarettes and blue Jolly Ranchers. His hand slides from my cheek, down my body until it rests on my hip.

Sebastian leads me to my bed, and as disgusting as it seems, I let him. The shame I feel grows with every touch. His lips trail down my neck. For the first time, he pulls away and looks at me, but I don't meet his eyes. I can't, I've been trained not to.

When he tugs at the hem of my shirt, I take a deep breath and lift my arms so he can remove it. Sebastian lets out a guttural noise and pushes my bare shoulders, hinting that he wants me to lay down. I stare at the ceiling trying to think about anything else, while he removes my jeans. I lay there, wearing only a solid black bra and panties set. A pair of warm lips are pressed roughly against mine, and when his tongue asks for entrance, I don't refuse. _Why do I let him do this to me? _

"Mmm... Clary, I want you." Sebastian says, removing the last two articles of clothing I have left. I am entirely naked. "Tell me you want me, Clary." he whispers harshly into my ear.

I cringe. I can hear him unbuckling his belt. "I want you, Sebastian." I say it as convincingly as I can, but I know he can see through it. Evidently that doesn't matter to him, because he is now undressed, sliding into me. It doesn't hurt anymore, unless I've done something to make him angry. He's gentle this time, and I can feel his gaze on my face.

I refuse to look at him. Staring at the ceiling, at the window and down the wall. Anywhere to set my gaze away from him. Until his hand finds its way to my clit, and he starts rubbing it softly. I gasp at the sensation, and I know he's smiling at that. He's never done this before.

Despite promising myself that I'd never resist, I try to push his hand away, but it doesn't work. He's stronger than I am. "Come for me, Clary." he growls. Surprised, I meet his eyes for the first time in months. "I'm not going to stop until you come." he whispers near my ear.

"Wh-what?" I choke out, stifling laughter. _Why would he even care about that?_

Sebastian doesn't answer, he just skillfully moves his fingers faster. I try not to give in to him... Believe me, I try. But the intensity builds, until I can't hold it back anymore. "Good girl." he tells me, speeding up his thrusts. I whimper, and he smiles at me before reaching his own release.

**So, I hope you guys enjoyed the third chapter of Breathless, and it wasn't too weird. Leave me a review, and let me know what thought?  
I should be able to update again on Wednesday.  
REVIEW!  
-IWriteNaked**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Sebastian-  
I roll off of Clary, feeling slightly proud of myself. _Fuck, she's sexy._ The girl likes to pretend she doesn't want to be with me, but it's obvious that she does. It was clear in the way she'd pick at the skin around her nails whenever I was around. She's adorable when she's nervous.

The first time I took her, she fought me, but I _had _to have her. I'd never want to hurt her. The only injuries she's received are from the struggle.

I'd been watching her for months. After her freak of a brother moved out, _Valentine _approached _me. _He said that I could fuck her whenever I want, if I agreed to watch her while he's away from home. He said he was worried she would try to run away.

I know why, now. She's turned away from me, facing the wall. I reach out the trace a severe bruise running from her shoulder all the way down her back, disappearing under her dark grey blanket.

Her breath catches and she flinches away from me. "Don't." Clary says, helplessly. She looks vulnerable and soft. I pull her over to me, and she stiffens. _She stiffens every time I touch her.  
_  
"Did Valentine do that to you?" she doesn't answer, but she doesn't have to. I've suspected all along, but I usually only see her in the dark... Clary pulls away from me, and crawls out of bed. I watch in awe of her beauty as she pulls an oversized t-shirt over her head, covering the dark purple bruise. After a moments hesitation, I softly say "Come away with me, Clary."

-Clary-

I turn to look at Sebastian, unsure that I heard him correctly. "What?" I gape at him.

"Let me take you away from here." Sebastian says, as if it's the most reasonable request in the world.

"Are you joking, or are you just fucking crazy?" I ask loudly, with a hint of amusement.

"I'm being serious, Clary. I think you could be happy with me." Sebastian looks up at me, but I still won't meet his eyes. "Think about it."  
despite my better judgement, I do think about it. I think about what my life would be like without Valentine. At least Sebastian doesn't hit me. But then I think about life without my brother, and I need to stay.

"I'm not going to do that, Sebastian." I tell him, turning away to avoid the look on his face. I know he's watching me, but I won't look at him. I hear him sigh, but he doesn't try to change my mind.

"Do you remember our first time together?" he asks.

I sit beside him, pulling my comforter over my bare legs. They're covered in bruises. "I try not to." I cringe at the memory. I remember every detail. The way his breath felt on my neck, and the pain between my legs. He wasn't gentle, like he has been recently. I shudder, trying to push away the image of his silhouette hovering over me.

"I'm sorry." he says, before getting up to leave. I stare at my hands in my lap, until I hear the front door close.

-Later-

Startled by a knock at the front door, I force my aching muscles to move for the first time in two hours to answer.

"Sebastian, I already told you no." I yell, swinging the door open, but it isn't Sebastian waiting for me on the other side of the thresh hold. It's a man with a grey streak running through his dark hair. I look down at his uniform, and realize that he is a police officer.

"Clarissa Morganstern?" he says my name like a question.

"Clary." I mumble so quietly I'm not sure he can hear me.

"Right, Clary." he rubs the back of his neck, nervously. "There was an accident. Your father... He didn't make it. I'm terribly sorry." It all comes out in a rush. I involuntarily let out a sarcastic laugh. I'm not quite sure what it was. Something between surprise and relief. I stare at him, but I can't gather my thoughts for long enough to form a response. This has to be a joke. "Clary?" the officer questions "Are you alright? Do you have any relatives you can stay with?"

I immediately think of Jonathan, but push the thought aside. _He can't take me in. He can barely afford to take care of himself_. I look down at my feet, suddenly aware of what I'm wearing. I still have on the large t-shirt from earlier. It comes halfway down my thighs. I blush and say "No."

"Okay..." he murmurs, looking at his own feet. "I'll have to take you to the station until I find you somewhere to live. Why don't you go pack anything you'll need, and we can head out."

I nod and head upstairs to pack my very few belongings into a duffel bag. Everything fits easily, and it takes all of ten minutes.

I pull the oversized t-shirt back over my head, and throw it into the my duffel bag. I slip into red undergarments, a black tanktop, dark wash blue jeans and my favorite grey hoodie. When I reach the bottom step, my duffel bag on my hip, I hear muffled voices coming from the front porch.

"Clary, oh my God. Are you okay?" Sebastian asks, concern masking his usual apathetic tone. When he wraps his arms around me, I do my best not to look uncomfortable. I'm forced to admit: the hug is kind of nice.

"I'm fine." I tell him. I feel him slip something into the pocket of my hoodie, and make a mental note to see what it is when I'm alone.

"All set?" the officer questions.

"All set." I confirm, pulling away from Sebastian.

When I'm settled into the back of his police cruiser he tells me "My name is Luke Garroway, by the way." and he backs out of my driveway, pulling away from my _home._

Sebastian waves from my front porch, and the hatred I have for him mixes in with something like longing. Longing for anything normal.

I take advantage of Luke being distracted by driving to reach into my right pocket. I pull out a small piece of paper with a phone number and the words

_Clary, please call me when you get the chance.  
I still want to take you away.  
-Sebastian._

**Thank you for reading! The next chapter should be up tomorrow, or Friday. Until then, leave me a review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys!  
Someone requested longer chapters, but longer chapters would mean updating less often. So, would you guys rather have long chapters once or twice per week, or shorter chapters three or four times per week? Let me know.  
Also, I don't know exactly how Sebastian looks, because I haven't actually read that far yet, so sorry if I get anything wrong. The very short description of him is just what I read on Wiki.**

-Luke-

I watch the delicate redhead rush upstairs to gather her belongings. _Her father just died. Why doesn't she seem upset? _I've had to tell a lot of people about the passing of a loved one, and none of them ever handled it so well. She seemed almost... Relieved.

Seconds after a door closes from upstairs, I hear footsteps crossing the thresh hold. I turn around quickly, and meet a pair of striking black eyes, with hair to match. "Is Clary okay?" he says in a panic.

"Clary is fine. She's upstairs, gathering her things. Who are you?" I ask.

He looks me in the eye for only a second before looking down at his feet. "Oh, I live next door. I'm Sebastian. Clarissa's..." he hesitates "boyfriend."

"Well, Sebastian" I start, leading him to the front porch. "There was an accident. Valentine Morganstern passed away." _Damnit, I didn't think I'd have to break the news twice._

"That son of a bitch deserved to die. You know he likes to beat her up? She's got bruises all over. Make sure she's safe, okay?" I nod at his request, as if to say that I promise. Just then Clarissa walk through the front door, onto the porch.

"Clary. Oh my God, are you okay?" the boy asks, his voice full of concern. He pulls her small frame into him, and for a second I see her try to pull away before melting into him. He thinks he's being sneaky, as he slips a piece of paper into her pocket. _When did he even have time to write her a note?_

"All set?"

"All set." she assurs me, pulling away from her boyfriend.

I open the car door for her, and she throws her duffel bag in before sliding in after it. "My name is Luke Garroway, by the way." I tell her, realizing that I never said my name. As I drive away she pulls the piece of paper out or her pocket, and reads it. Her face flashes with confusion.

-Clary-

We pull into the station, and Officer Garroway opens the door for me. "Thank you." I mutter, inaudibly. Inside, the officer goes to make a phone call. He said something about a social worker.

When he returns he tells me "You officially have a social worker. She's going to make some calls, and find you a new home. She'll call when she's found somewhere." he tells me. I just nod, and follow him to a desk, where he motions for me to sit. "Sebastian told me about the bruises."

My eyes shoot up, and catch his. "Officer Garroway.." I start, trying to come up with an explanation.

"Call me Luke." he requests.

"Luke," I start again. "I can explain."

"You don't have to protect him, Clary. He can't hurt you anymore." Luke says sofly, sitting down across from me. I sigh, but before I can say anything the phone rings. Luke picks it up and says "Officer Luke Garroway." in a formal voice.

I wait patently for him to finish his phone call, and think about what I'm going to do. _Where will I go? What about my brother? Will I see him again? And what if I don't like the new place? What if... They're worse than Valentine?_

-Maryse-

I step out of the courthouse, feeling spent. It's 6:30, and I've been in court since eight this morning. As I approach my car, my phone starts ringing. "Hello, Maia." I greet my foster sons social worker.

"Hello Mrs. Lightwood." Maia greets in return. I can tell from the tone of her voice that this isn't a social call. "There's a girl. Her name is Clarissa Morganstern, and she's almost 16" Maia starts before I interupt.

"She's had a tragic life, and needs a place to stay." I finish for her.

"Well, I'm not sure about her life. Her father died, and her boyfriend told the police officer that was picking her up that she'd been abused." Maia says.

I sigh. "Let me talk to the kids, and I'll get back to you." I say, before hanging up.

When I get home I summon my three children, to discuss the possibility of taking in a new foster child. Isabelle walks in first, her black hair flowing effortlessly over her shoulders. Alec follows in after her, looking at me with bright blue eyes. "Where's Jace?" I ask them.

"He's almost here." Isabelle answers, looking at her cell phone and replying to Jace's text message.

"What's going on, mom?" Alec asks, not wasting any time.

"We just need to talk about something. Wait until Jace gets here." As if right on cue, Jace walks through the front door noisily.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Jace asks, noticing us all gathered in the living room.

"Mom wants to talk to us about something." Alec tells him, patting the seat on the black leather couch beside him. Jace takes the hint and sits down.

"Maia called me today." I start to explain.

Isabelle gets a worried expression on her face and asks, a little to loudly "Jace doesn't have to leave, does he?"

"No, no. Of course not." Isabelle sinks back into her seat, relaxing a little. "There's a girl. Her father died, and she needs a new home. She's 16, and they suspect that she's been abused, but she hasn't opened up about it yet."

"Is she hot?" Jace asks, with a smug smile.

"God Jace, you're such a skeez." Izzy says laughing.

I ignore his question and ask "What do you guys think? Should we take her in?"

Alec shrugs, showing he doesn't care. Jace gives a "Sure."

Izzy just asks "Can I design her room, and take her shopping when she gets here?" I nod, and go upstairs to call Maia back.

-Clary-

Luke walks with me to the door of a ridiculously massive house. It's at least three times the size of Valentines house, and his house is _big. _Luke rings the doorbell and a tall girl answers the door. Her hair falls just past her shoulders, and her high heels look uncomfortable. "Hey Luke." she says casually, waving us into the foyer. "You must be Clarissa. My name is Isabelle, or Izzy. I'm so excited to have another girl in the house. I designed your room." she says in a rushed, excited voice. "Mom is in here," she says, motioning to a door to the right "come on."

I sneak a nervouse glance at Luke, but he's following Isabelle into an elegant sitting room. I walk hesitantly behind him. An older version of Izzy sits on a black leather couch, beside a boy who also looks like Isabelle with brighter eyes.

I look behind them and look into a pair of golden feline eyes. He's a tall blonde, and he doesn't smile at me. He just nods his head, as if to say hello. He's terrifying, and beautiful.

-Jace-

The doorbell rings, and I assume that our new foster sister has arrived. Izzy goes to get the door, and I hear her excitedly tell the girl that she set up a room for her. Isabelle walks into the living room, with Luke following behind her. _Why didn't Maia come with her? She's her social worker, isn't she?_

Slowly, a thin girl walks in behind Luke. She doesn't look like she want to be here. She looks at Maryse, then Alec before meeting eyes with me. She has dark red hair that falls softly halfway down her back. She has wistful green eyes, harbouring confusion and fear. _This will be fun._

**Let me know what you think. If you have any idea for this story, I'd love to read them. Leave me reviews!  
I'll try to update again tomorrow, but I can't make any promises.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone! I'm sorry that the last few chapters have kind of been fillers. I'm just trying to figure out how to set everything up and introduce everyone to Clary. She's settling in, and junk.  
I'm going to TRY to make this chapter a bit longer, but I'm not making any promises.  
Discaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary-  
"My name is Maryse." the woman with black hair and dark blue eyes says, getting up to shake my hand. _She looks even more like Isabelle up close._

"Nice to meet you. I'm Clary." I respond, shaking her hand. She has long manicured finger nails, and a big shiny wedding ring. She looks clean and professional.

"This is my son, Alec." she points to the boy with the bright eyes, and the choppy black hair. It looks like he cuts it himself. "You've met my daughter, Isabelle." she gestures toward Izzy. "And we've just officially adopted Jace. It was a long process, but worth every second." She smiles lovingly at the boy with golden hair and eyes. _She looks at him like a parent should. _I feel something like jealousy shoot through me. Jace just lifts his hand to wave carelessly, as if to say _yeah, that's me._

"Hello." I say aloud, to no one yet somehow everyone. I look at my shoes.

"Mother, can I take her to her room now? Please!?" Izzy shreaks in excitement.

"I suppose. Jace, take Clary's bag." Maryse calls as Isabelle tries to drag me toward the stairs, leading to the basement.

"That really won't be necessary." I tell Jace when he moves away from the wall he was leaning on. _He is intimidating as all hell._ If I've learned anything from Sebastian, it's that beautiful boys will do the worst things to you.

"I don't mind." Jace says, gently taking my duffel bag from my shoulder. I shrink away from him, and look back down at my shoes. I can feel his confused gaze on me, like it's actually touching me. I ignore it, and sneak a nervous glance at Luke.

" I guess this is goodbye, Clary. I'll see you around." Luke says, smiling reassuringly.

I give him a small "Goodbye" before letting Isabelle drag me down the stairs.

"Sorry about sticking you down here, but we thought you'd want a room with your own bathroom attached. This was the only one available." Izzy rambles, still holding onto my arm in order to pull me down the stairs.

We come to the bottom step and stumble clumsily into a room with two blue sued couches, a big screen TV and a lot of video games. The carpet is white and spotless, along with the walls.

Izzy lets go of my hand and walks to one of the two doors in the room. "Close your eyes." she demands.

I give her a look that says "_Do I have to?" _but she just watches me expectantly. I close them and feel someone guiding me.

"Okay, you can open them." Izzy says.

I make a shocked noise when I see the room. It's at least twice the size of my room at home. It's gorgeous, and decorated with my favorite colors: Grey and Teal. A dark grey bedspread, with teal pillowcases and sheets. It looks soft and inviting. I haven't slept in a real bed in three nights. I had to stay at the station, until the Lightwoods were ready for me.

The walls are a light shade of teal, and the carpet is soft and cushy beneath my feet. I look down and see that it's grey too. Black book case. Black dresser, with a vanity miror.

"How did you know my favorite colors?" I ask her.

"I made Luke ask you everything I needed to know." she replies. I think back to playing 20 questions with Luke at the station, when things were slow. I thought he was just trying to entertain me. "Do you like it?" Izzy asks, biting her bottom lip.

"It's perfect." I tell her, and she smiles widely. _She's stunning._

I'd forgotten that Jace was still here, until he says "Um, my room is the only other one down here. It's on the left,_ in case you need anything_." he says the last part with a seductive tone, and he winks at me. He thrown my bag onto the bed.

"Is that all you brought?" Izzy asks. I nod. "Good, now we have an excuse to go shopping! I'm going to tell mom." she skips out of the room, leaving me alone with Jace. I watch him in the corner of my eye, trying to inconspicuously back away from him.

-Jace-

Izzy frollicks out of Clary's room, leaving us alone. I try to think of something to say to her, but being polite isn't my strong suit. She's backing away from me slowly, but I'm not sure why. "Do you want help unpacking?" I ask, trying to sound friendly.

"No, it's fine. I've got it." I watch her narrow waist as she walks slowly over to her bed, where I tossed her bag. She pulls the zippers, and takes out a sketch book first.

I walk over, and stand beside her. "You like to draw?" I ask casually, trying to make conversation. She just nods. _Well, she's great at holding a conversation. _"Can I see?" I ask, trying again. She hesitates before handing the sketchbook to me. I flip it open to a black and while photo of a man with an angular jaw line, and almost white hair. There are freckles on his nose, and he looks like a model. It takes me a moment to remember that this is a drawing, and not a photo that was taken. "Wow.." I whisper, shocked.

Clary shifts on her feet, uncomfortably. "I'm, uh, not very good."

"What?" I say, laughing. "This is incredible. Who's this?" I ask, showing her the photo.

"My brother, Johnathan." she says, looking down at the floor. _She does that a lot. _I place the sketchbook on the bed next to her bad, and watch her fold clothing, and put them in the dresser that Izzy picked out. _How the fuck did she do all of this in three days? _Everything is put away within a few minutes, and I watch as Clary places a photo of herself and the boy from the drawing, her brother, on the nightstand beside her bed.

Izzy walks back in, noticing the photo and her sketch book still flipped open to the picture of Johnathan. She picks up the picture of the two of them, and examines it. "Is this your boyfrined? He's cute!" She smiles enthusiastically at Clary.

"It's her brother." I glare at her.

"Oh, sorry." Izzy says putting the photo back. "Luke said you had a boyfriend. Sebastian, right?" I feel a little disappointed at that. _Why?_

"No, Sebastian isn't my boyfriend..." Clary replies, picking at the skin around her fingernails, and I think there's a hint of frustration in her voice. My disappointment disappears, but confusion takes its place.

"Oh..." Izzy mumbles, clearly feeling uncomfortable. "Well, mom said that we can go shopping. Alec's driving, and Magnus is meeting us there."

-Clary-

"Shotgun!" Isabelle yells, when we walk out the front door. Jace rolls his eyes, letting her take the front seat. Alec opens my door for me, and I smile at him before getting into the back seat.

Once we're driving down the road, Jace leans forward to plug his iPhone in, to play music. He scrolls through songs, until he finds the song he wants. "All Over You" by The Spill Canvas comes on, and Isabelle groans.

"Jace, I hate this song." she complains. "Play something else." she demands.

"No. This is a good song." He tells me.

"Clary, will you please tell him that this is a shitty song?" Izzy turns around in her seat, looking at me.

I hesitate before saying "I like this song."

Jace laughs and mumbles something like "Great taste in music and beautiful." I blush, and turn away, pretending I didn't hear.

We pull into the parking garage, and Alec checks his phone before telling us "Magnus is meeting us in Wet Seal."

"Oh, Clary. Do you have a cell phone? In case we get separated." Isabelle asks. I shake my head, and she looks at me like that's the strangest thing ever. "Okay. We'll just stop by AT&T inside, and get you one." I try to protest, but everyone just ignores me and walks toward the entrance.

Once we're inside, Alec goes to find the person called Magnus and I wait patiently while Isabelle talks to someone in AT&T. "What kind of phone do you want?" she asks me.

I just shrug. "I've never had one." I confess. She gives the same look as before.

"Okay, we're just going to get you an iPhone like the rest of us. Since you already have an iPod, you'll know how to use it." Jace says, flashing a crooked grin at me.

A few minutes later we meet Alec and a glittery man, Magnus I assume, in a store on the second floor. They pass the phone around, adding their numbers to it before handing it back to me. Isabella doesn't waste any time. She's got her arms filled with things, and demands that I try them all on. I try to get out of it, but she insists.

I'm forced to spend the next several hours playing dressup with Magnus and Isabelle. They drag me from store to store, and it's a big overwhelming. "Don't you think this is enough?" I am exhausted, and I hate shopping.

"Clary. I know you didn't look in it, but the closet in your room is huge. I intend to fill it." Izzy drags me long with her again.

"Izzy, she's tired. You can keep looking. Alec and I will take her to get something to eat." Jace says, and I'm actually kind of glad he's here. Isabelle waves us off, taking Magnus with her into another store. "Sorry about her. She did this to me too, when I first moved in. Except you're a girl, so she's a little.. Crazier." I laugh, and follow the boys into the food court.

"What kind of food do you like?" Alec asks. I just shrug, and he walks off toward something that looks Asian. Jace and I find a place to sit, and Alec comes back with three orders of sesame chicken and fried rice, with three bottles of Mountain Dew. "I didn't know what you like, so I just got you what Jace and I always get."

I mutter a "Thank you." before stabbing a piece of chicken with my fork.

**Okay, I think this is a **_**little **_**longer. I'll have to work up to having long chapters, because I get distracted a lot.  
Anyways, this just introductions and settling in. Blah blah blah.  
Review.  
-IWriteNaked**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey! Thanks to everyone who left me reviews. I love them.  
Thanks to Kizdawg, Balletadc and Vmars Lover because you guys have reviewed a lot of times. You're all so sweet!  
Also, greygirl2358. Because "Sebastard" made me laugh.  
Anyways, I want to brink Johnathan and Sebastian back into the story eventually, but I'm not sure when/how. Let me know if you'd like to see them again. Johnathan might be in this chapter a little. I'm not sure. I haven't written it yet.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments, or Between You and I. Just dickin' around.

-Jace-

Alec left to find Magnus and Izzy ten minutes ago. _It shouldn't be hard. Magnus leaves a trail of glitter everywhere he goes. _My phone buzzes in my pocket with a text from Isabelle.

_**Iz: Jace, stop hogging Clary. We have more shopping to do. Bring her back.**_

Jace: Regrettably, I'm going to have to decline your offer. I'm learning to limit my commitments.

"Izzy wants you back. Lets get out of here before she finds us." I says, motioning for her to leave the food court with me. We go to the nearest elevator, and take it two floors up hoping to put some distance between ourselves and Isabelle.

"Thank you, Jace. She's going to kill me, and Magnus keeps getting glitter on me." Clary tells me, as we get off the elevator and walk into a locally run music store, Mayhem.

"No problem. I know what it's like. The girl is a maniac. She never slows down." I laugh, and walk over to a keyboard on the far wall. My phone buzzes again._****_

Iz: JACE WAYLAND. Bring her back, or I will kill you.

Jace: No thank you, but it sounds lovely.

I put my phone back in my pocket, and start playing _Between You and I _by Every Avenue. (**A/N: listen to the song. It's beautiful)** Clary stands next to me and listens for a second before she starts to sing

**Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?**

**The question wasn't mean to hurt,**

**It was just my fear of losing you.**

**And now you're filling all the space that surrounds you.**

**I'll soon be tucked away underneath your bed,**

**Where you gave yourself to me.**

**Where I gave myself to you.**

**Maybe it's all for the best,**

**But I just don't see any good in this, no.**

**Maybe we'll find something better,**

**But the lovers that leave us**

**Will always hold the place**

**Maybe it was wrong of me to think I could keep you.**

**And maybe it's the last few drinks**

**Taking over my mouth.**

**And all I've been thinking**

**I want you to know that I am fine here without you.**

**But I can't bring myself to lie to you.**

**And since we're being honest, I feel I should tell you,**

**I've been filling up the empty space between you and I.**

**Between you and I, she could never compare to you.**

**Between you and I, I still keep your pictures underneath my bed.**

**Where she gives herself to me.**

**Where I give myself to you.**

**Maybe it's all for the best,**

**But I just don't see any good in this, no.**

**Maybe we'll find something better.**

**But the lovers that leave us**

**Will always hold the place, oh...**

**Yeah...**

**Maybe it's all for the best,**

**I just don't see any good in this, no.**

**Maybe we'll find something better,**

**But the lovers that leave us**

**Will always hold the place.**

**Yeah the lovers that leave us**

**Will always hold the place .**

There was a moment where we just smiled at each other, not saying anything. Just smiling... Until Isabelle came in and ruined the moment. "There you are!" she yelled, glaring at me and grabbing Clary the drag her away from me.

-Clary-

I think... We were having a moment. It was the first time since my mother died that I didn't feel afraid. Then Isabelle showed up, and now I'm being forced to try on one million outfits. She's handed me a backless dress, and I'm terrified that everyone will see the bruises covering my back and legs.

"Isabelle, I'm not comfortable wearing this." I try to get out of showing her the dress. It's beautiful dress, it's black and flowy with layers of lace. The problem is the it comes to my mid-thighs, and most of my back is showing.

"Let me see!" she commands.

I sigh, and I'm suddenly very grateful for my long hair. I move it all the the back, trying to cover the dark purple bruise. I step out of the dressing room, trying to hide how nervous I am. Jace showed up, some time while I was stalling. _Great. Everyone's here._

"That looks fantastic, Clary." Isabelle says, then walks away with Magnus to find something else for me to try on. Alec follows.

"That's pretty." Jace says, obviously feeling awkward. _Cute._

"Thank you..." my voice is uneven. He steps toward me, and I step back. Jace pretends not to notice, but I know he does. He walks behind me, and I am frozen in my place. Fear strikes me, and I cannot move away from him as he moves my hair away from the bruise. We do not speak. His fingers trace the bruise, like Sebastian tried to do, but I don't pull away this time. I just look straight ahead until he drops his hand.

I turn around, and look into his eyes. It feels wrong, but I don't look away. I've been told to never look a man in the eye, but I remind myself that Valentine was _wrong. _I tell myself that I should unlearn anything he taught me, so I keep looking into his golden eyes until I've memorized everything about them. Their exact shape, and color. The way they're lighter near the pupil, and they gradually get darker. They are bright, and ferociously alive.

He finally breaks away from my gaze, and I walk back in to the dressing room to change back into the clothing I came here in before anyone else sees. I head Jace tell Isabelle that it's time to go home, and she argues.

"You can take Clary shopping another time. It's time to go home." Jace tells her, and I'm grateful that he didn't mention the bruises to anyone.

"No. I don't want to go yet." Isabelle says stubbornly.

"Fine. Come on Clary, we'll take a cab." Jace doesn't look at Isabelle again. He just walks away, and I smile at Isabelle like everything is normal before following after Jace.

-Jace-

After Isabelle takes Clary away, I decide to find somewhere to buy her a new sketch book. The one she has was almost full, and Maryse said she's turning 16 in just over a week. Drawing is the only thing I know she likes, so art supplies seems to be the most obvious birthday present. _Damn. I don't know anything about this stuff._

"Can I help you, sir?" a teenage girl with a name tag that reads _Mokana _asks, probably noticing the confused look on my face.

I flash her a flirty smile, and tell her "My friends birthday is coming up. She likes to draw, but I have no idea what half of this is for." she laughs, and I follow her through the small store letting her pick out an arrangemen of art supplies and a sketch book. I thank her, and pay for everything before texting Alec to see where they are.

When I find them, Clary is apparently being forced to wear a dress she doesn't want to be seen in. "Isabelle, I'm not comfortable wearing this." she calls from one of the three fitting rooms, and I think of her singing. _Beautiful._

Isabelle ignores her, and insists that she comes out. Clary steps bashfully out of the dressing room in a black dress that stops in the middle of her thighs. There are faint bruises all over her legs, and a bad one on her shoulder. I don't think anyone else notices. Isabelle tells her that it's perfect before walking away to find more clothing.

"That's pretty." my voice is uneven.

"Thank you." Clary replies with a small smile on her lips. She's uncomfortable. I take a step forward, and she takes a step back. _She's afraid of me, but I don't know why. _I look back to the bruise on her shoulder, before stepping behind her. I move her long, curly red hair away from her shoulder so I can see how bad the bruise is. It doesn't stop on her shoulder, it goes all the way down her back. I trace it, and she shivers but doesn't pull away. I let my hand fall back down to my side, and Clary turns around. We make eye contact for a long time, but she never once tries to make up an excuse or explain the bruises.

I stare into her green eyes until I've memorized her shade of bright green, and where all of the darker specks are. I don't break eye contact until Isabelle is comes back. Clary goes back into the dressing room "It's time to go home, Isabelle."

"Sorry, no can do." Izzy says sarcastically.

I think about mentioning the bruises, but I know it isn't my story to tell. Clary walks back out in her normal clothes. "You can take Clary shopping another time. It's time to go home."

"No. I don't want to go yet." Isabelle says stubbornly.

"Fine. Come on Clary, we'll take a cab." I don't look at anyone. I just grab a few bags, so the others don't have to carry everything around all day. Clary follows me out, and we catch a cab.

**I hope you guys liked chapter seven! I had fun writing this chapter, especially Jace's text messages.  
Leave me a review and let me know what you think.  
I originally intended to have everyone go home, so I could add Johnathan into this chapter, but this just kind of.. Happened. Hope you guys like it! Let me know.  
Sorry but I won't be able to update again until Wednesday. My boyfriend's off work until then, and I usually write when I'm alone. Since we live together, I'm only alone when he's working. Sorry guys. I'll try to write a little whenever I get the chance, and make an extra longer chapter, since I'm making you wait so long.  
Until then, leave me reviews!**

-IWriteNaked


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, It's 3:30 in Alaska, and I have nothing to do until 9. Since it's going to be a few days until I can update again, I want to write another chapter. Probably won't be very long, but I really wanted to write Johnathan in again, and I hate to leave without a chapter for three days.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.

-Clary-

Jace and I walk downstairs silently. We didn't say anything for the whole ride home, but my fear has mostly subsided. _Jace isn't going to hurt me._

"So..." Jace starts, walking through the door to my bedroom. I follow in beside him. He throws the bags he grabbed onto the bed, and starts putting things away. "Do you want to talk about it?" he doesn't say what he's talking about. He doesn't need to, I already know. I grab a pair of jeans from one of the bags and remove the tags, then put them in the dresser.

I can feel Jace watching me, and I know that I'll have to tell him about the bruises, but I don't _want _to. It's finally over, and I don't want to relive that part of my life. I don't want to talk about it, or even think about it.

"Clary?" Jace says, walking over to stand in front of me. I meet his eyes again, and it still feels _wrong_ but it also feels _good. _It feels like I'm all of the pointless rules are blowing away from me. The years with Valentine are gone. I'm losing pieces of me that I thought I needed.

"I think you've already figured it out." I mumble, breaking eye contact and side stepping him to continue putting things away. _God, Isabelle bought a lot of stuff. Jace didn't even grab most of it._

"Probably, but that doesn't mean you should keep it all to yourself." Jace says. "I know we just met this morning, so I've known you for about nine hours, but you can talk to me." he runs his hand through his hair, and I surprise myself by wondering what it would be like to put my hands in his hair. I've never kissed anyone but Sebastian, and that wasn't exactly by choice. "Come with me." Jace says, suddenly.

I follow him into what I'm assuming is his room. It doesn't look like a teenage boys room. Everything is in order, and it doesn't even look like anyone lives in here. White walls, white bedding and a white carpet. It looks like a guest room. The only personal things in the room is a notebook and a keyboard. He throws a black shopping bag on the bed and picks up a book filled with songs that he can play, and tells me to pick one. I hand it back to him flipped open to _Ocean Avenue _by Yellowcard.

He starts to play, and I watch the way his fingers move over the keys. I start to sing the song, and I see him smile. I've seen him smile a lot today, but not like this. He doesn't usually smile for real, he just flashes a cocky grin. The only other time I've seen him smile like this was in Mayhem. _Music makes him smile. _

-Later-

I flop down onto my bed for the first time, and it's even more comfortable than I thought. _Can't wait to sleep here without a fucked up back. _I pull out the phone Isabelle got for me earlier, and see that it's only 9 PM. _Johnathan is probably still awake._

I dial his number, having memorized it after he moved out. It rings three times before he answers. "Hello?" I didn't realize how much I missed him until I heard his voice. It's been less than a week since I've seen him, but it's been a long few days.

"Hey John." I say quietly.

"CC?" he asks.

I switch the phone to my other ear before saying "Yes. It's me."

"Oh God, CC. Are you okay? Where are you?" he sounds panicked.

"I'm fine. Valentine died." I'm not sure that anyone told him.

"I know that. I've been worried sick about you."

"I'm sorry. I would've called sooner, but I just got into a new place this morning." I feel myself smiling, feeling better now that I'm talking to my brother.

"Tell me about it. Do they have other kids?" he asks, sounding happier than before.

"They're nice. Maryse has a son and a daughter. She apparently just adopted another boy too. They forced me to go shopping today, and gave me a cell phone." He starts laughing, and I groan. He knows I hate shopping. "I miss you though." I add.

"I miss you too, CC."

"Um, I think I live closer to you now." I add, hoping he'll take the hint.

"Good. I'll be able to visit more." I obviously can't see him though the phone, but I know he's smiling.

"I hope so." I say, feeling like a child. My brother isn't actually that much older than I am, but I'll always be a kid to him. He's been keeping me safe for two years, and he was the only one I could trust. The only person I could feel comfortable with.

There's a knock at my door, and I sigh. "I have to go now. Save my number. I love you, John."

"Bye, CC. I'll see you soon." he says before hanging up.

I drag myself out of bed reluctantly to open the door. Isabelle is waiting for me, and she doesn't wait for me to invite her in. "Hey Isabelle." I say when she sits down on my bed. I walk over to sit down beside her.

"I'm so glad to have you here." she says, smiling widely at me. "We were all going to watch a movie. Would you like to join us?"

I follow her out of my bedroom, and sit beside her on one of the blue sued couches.

**I know it's pretty short, but hey. Two chapters in one day.  
I really wanted to have Clary call her brother. He'll be coming over soon. I haven't decided how to bring Sebastian back yet, but we'll see him again eventually.  
Leave me a review!  
See you guys on Wednesday.  
-IWriteNaked**


	9. Chapter 9

**So, funny story: I type this story on my boyfriends computer, and save it onto my flashdrive because my laptop is slow as shit. Well, after writing chapter 8 I forgot to exit the document. he got home and was like "Why is word opened?"**

**Then I yelled "Noooooooooo. Don't read that!" and ran over over there to exit it.**  
**That was a close one.**

**Thanks to everyone who reached out with ideas for this story, especially AnnaW14 who had a super cool idea of how to bring Sebastian back. He might be in this chapter a little just to get things started. There will be more in the future.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

**Sorry for the really long Authors note. On to the story.**

-Clary-  
I wake up with my head on the arm of one of the blue sued couches. Alec is turning off the television, Izzy is disappearing up the stairs and Jace is apparently waking me up. I groan tiredly, and he smiles rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Night guys!" Izzy calls from halfway up the stairs.

Alec mutters a "Goodnight." before following Isabelle up the stairs. Jace gives me a small smile and wave before silently slipping into his room.

In my room, I pull out an old t-shirt and a pair of black pajama pants that Isabelle picked out today. I slide under my new blanket for the first time and it's basically impossible to keep my eyes open. _I'm spent._

There's a dark, ominous feeling that I just can't shake. My hand is on a dead mans gun. It's wrapped in the fingers of a sinner. I've got half a mind to pull the trigger, because there's a pair of black eyes looking down the barrel and he doesn't look afraid at all.

I want him scared, like me.

_I wish I would have fought a little harder. I'm screwed up. I'm going to lose it. Valentine tsks. "After all I've taught you to be, you're none of it." I straighten out, aiming for Sebastian's face. For his fucking creepy smile. _I've always hated his smile. _"Pull the trigger, Clarissa. This boy hurt you. Took something from you that you were saving for someone special. Shoot him. You want to."_

_I shift and turn the gun on Valentine. "I want to shoot you more." I say confidently. "I've never wanted someone dead so much."_

_"You forget so easily, Clarissa. I'm already dead." Valentine dissipates into a cloud of everything that I've ever been afraid of, and Sebastian lunges for the gun._

-Jace-

I jolt awake, releasing a noise I didn't know I was capable of producing. It was... Less than masculine. When my screaming subsides, I realize I'm not the only one screaming. I follow muffled cried to Clary's room. "Clary." I say as warmly as I can. I reach out to shake her awake, and the second my hand connects with her shoulder Clary lashes at me and pulls away violently.

She's backed up until she's pressed against her headboard before she finally becomes aware of what's happening. The nightmare is over. I can't see her face through the dark, but I imagine she's giving me a guilty smile. "I'm sorry for waking you." her voice is shaky, and even quieter than it has been all day.

I lift her small frame from her bed and carry her out to the couch. "Wait here. I'll be right back." I tell her before going upstairs. I return a few moments later with two mugs in my hands. I hold one out to her, and she accepts it.

"What is this?" Clary asks, bringing the mug to her lips. "Mmm." she moans in approval, and I smile at this. It's dark, but the small amount of light coming from the tiny basement windows is just enough that I can see her eyes. They're wide and big. They sparkle with intelligence and creativity.

"It's a Vanilla Steamer. Warm milk and vanilla." I explain before taking a long drink from mine. "I usually have one after a night terror."

Clary looks at me like I've said something insane. "You have them too?" she doesn't look at me. She just stares into her cup.

"Yeah, I do..." I answer awkwardly, not really trilled to be talking about it. No one knows. Everyone else sleeps on the top floor, and my room has been down here since I moved in. There's an entire empty floor between us.

"What are yours about?" Clary asks, looking up at me. I can't see her face very well in this light. There's nothing but her silhouette.

"Something similar to yous, I think." I tell her. I think Clary is just as surprised as I am when she sets her mug onto the coffee table and hugs me. It takes me a second to wrap my mind around what's happening, but I pull it together and wrap my arms around her. She's stepped away every time I've gotten too close to her today, but now she's pulling me in to her.

She's even smaller than she looks. Her body fits easily in to my arms, and I briefly wonder if I should be concerned about how thin she is. I couldn't tell you how long we stay this way, with my hands in her hair and on her lower back. Her face pressed into my neck, and her arms wrapped around my torso.

For the first time, I wonder what it would be like to kiss her. I've kissed other girls before, but always just for the sake of kissing someone. To numb the loneliness I've been left with since I was a 13 years old. I've never thought of kissing a girl in a way that meant anything, and certainly not in a way that made me nervous.

Long after sitting in this position, motionless, has become uncomfortable, and long after the appropriate amount of time to embrace someone you've known for less than 24 hours has expired, I lift Clary back off the couch and bring her back to her bed, kissing the top of her head before whispering "Sweet dreams. Clary." and going back to my own bed.

I may have imagined it, but I think she even clung to me as I pulled away.

-Clary-

Jace places me in the bed and actually brings his lips to the top of my head. It's something Johnathan has done a thousand times, when I'm in need of comforting. When John does it, it's warm and loving. It feels like home. Like mom.

When Jace did it... I didn't want him to stop there. I wanted to ask him to stay, but I know it would be a bad idea. I wanted to give myself to him in a way I've never wanted with anyone before. I wanted him to see me in a way that only Sebastian ever has... Am I being weird? All of this from a kiss on the crown of my head? Jeez, I need to stop thinking about Jace. He's making me sexually frustrated.

-Morning-

I drag myself from bed feeling more rested than I have in days. _Damn, that bed is cozy. _I walk through a door to my bathroom, and turn the shower knob until the water is a comfortable temperature. I take my time washing my hair, and scrubbing soap all over my body. After I'm all clean, I dry off and pull on a black t-shirt that says "Grow beards not weed." It's a little too big, but I enjoy it. It's comfortable and soft. I grab the first pair of jeans I can find and slip into them.

I walk out of my room and sit beside Jace on one of the blue couches. "Good morning." I say softly. A blush creeps up my cheeks when I remember last night. _I can't believe I hugged him. I was practically in his lap._

"You're up early." he tells me.

"It's 8:30." I say, wondering if that _is _early for normal people.

"I guess it is. Alec and Izzy sleep until noon, and Maryse has to be in court for most of the day." Jace says, standing up and motioning for me to follow him up the stairs. "Let's go have some breakfast."

Jace hums while he poors two bowl of cocoa puffs. He places one in front of me at the table and sits across from me. "How did you sleep after..." he trails off. I know what he's getting at.

"Good, actually. Thank you for last night. You didn't have to do that."

Jace smiles at me, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I wanted to." I wonder which part he mean, but I don't ask. I just smile and start eating my cereal. I sneak glances at him while we're eating, but look away whenever he looks up at me.

After we're done eating he takes our bowls and places there carefully into the dishwasher before sitting across from me again. "It's only 9 AM. No one else will be up for three more hours. What do you want to do today?" he asks casually, and I just shrug my shoulders. Jace watches me for a moment before saying "Grab a jacket, and your shoes. I want to show you something."

"Okay." I mumble, rushing back downstairs. I slip my arm into the black bomber jacket that Izzy picked out. It's warm and soft. I shove my feet into a pair of black chucks, and meet Jace outside on the front porch.

We walk for a few moments, and Jace leads me to a trail off the road, leading into the woods. "Where are we going?" I ask, hesitantly.

"To my favorite place." he says, simply. "You'll see."

We walk for 45 minutes, not saying much. It's comfortable, and the more time I spend with Jace the less afraid I am. _If he wanted to hurt me, he would have by now._ "We're here." Jace says, pulling me to the edge of a river that cuts off the trail we were following. To the left there's a tree bridge stretching all the way to the other side. Trees along the shoreline braided into the vibrantly colored sky.

Jace's golden eyes catch mine, and I smile widely at him. "It's beautiful." I gush, admiring the clear blue water. Jace walks swiftly across the shaft of the tree bridge and sits down in the middle, hanging his legs on one side. I try to imitate his movements, but I'm not nearly as graceful as he is. I make it safely to the middle, and sit beside him. That's good enough for me.

"How did you find this place?" I ask, trying to break the silence that has lingered for most of the morning.

"I ran away, once." I give him a look that I think says to explain himself, and he continues "A few months after I got here Robert and I got into a fight..." Jace pauses for a moment, remembering. "He got a little violent. I was afraid that this would be just like some of my former homes, so I left."

He doesn't look away from the water. I want to ask him what his former homes were like, but I don't think he wants to tell me, so instead I ask "Who's Robert?"

"He's Maryse's husband. His work takes him away a lot, so you won't see him much. I doubt that Maryse has even told her you're here. He probably won't notice anyways." he looks at me this time, and I really want to hug him again, but I'm wide awake this time and it's clear daylight.

"Valentine used to get violent too." I mumble, before I can stop myself. Jace doesn't say anything, he just nods to let me know that he understands. It's not like he didn't guess this before, so why am I so worried that I told him?

I put my hands in my lap and start picking at the skin around my nails, nervously. He watches for a second, and then reaches over to lace our fingers together. His hands are cold and soft. _I can't believe he's holding my hand. _From the corner of my eye, I see someone walking down the trail on the opposite side of the river. I don't want to ruin the moment with Jace, so I don't look to see who it is, until I hear them call my name.

"Clary?" he says. I lean forward to see around Jace, and meet eyes with Sebastian. I immediately look away from his eyes, sinking back into the rules I've had for the last two years.

"You know him?" Jace asks, standing up, and helping me to my feet. I nod, trying to hide the fear I feel. He crosses the tree bridge to where Sebastian is standing. I have no choice but to follow.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, a little too quickly. Jace give me a look that asks _are you okay?_

Sebastian ignores my tone and answers "I've been pretty bored since you left. I found a trail in our neighborhood, and followed it here." I nod and silently pray that Jace will want to leave soon. "Who's this?" Sebastian looks Jace up and down, sizing him up or something. He's angry to see me with another guy, but he won't show it with other people around. Sebastian has almost never hit me before, but if I made him angry he would hurt me in other ways.

"I'm Jace Wayland. Clary lives with my family and I now." Jace says, putting his hand out to shake Sebastian's hand. Sebastian doesn't look at Jace, and he doesn't shake his hand. He steps toward me, and pulls me in to his arms. I stiffen, and my breathing is uneven. Jace notices and says "Well, this has been nice, but we should go."

"Fuck you, Wayland." Sebastian yells, pushing me behind him, shielding me from Jace.

"I don't think I'm your type. I'm not inflatable." Jace says arrogantly, trying to step around Sebastian to get to me.

"Why don't you leave us alone for a moment. I'd like to talk to Clarissa alone." Sebastians voice is venomous, but despite my fear I know that Jace will protect me.

I sneak around him, and stand beside Jace again. Neither of them notices, until I grab Jace's arm and say "Let's just go, Jace." He looks away from Sebastian, and stares into my eyes. I try to use my eyes to plead with him, but I'm not sure how successful I am.

"You're not going anywhere, Clary." Sebastian laughs.

"Kid, if we promise to miss you, will you go away?" Jace's voice overflows with sarcasm and anger. I've hadn't seen him angry before, and I don't really think I want to ever again. Sebastian grabs for my arm, to drag me away from Jace but Jace punches him in the face, and Sebastian crashes to the ground with blood gushing from his nose. It's bent slightly. _Jace broke Sebastian's nose. _I smile internally, but don't have time to admire the sight. I walk as quickly as I can without falling across the tree bridge and run down the trail the way we came.

I can hear Jace running behind me, but I don't stop until I'm all the way back home in my bedroom. I fall onto the bed, my lungs crying out for air. The tears start to cascade down my face. I feel the bed shift, but I don't look up to see who it is. I already know it's Jace. My breathing returns to normal after a little while, but I need another shower. The tears don't stop, and I don't try to stop them.

-Jace-

I walk hesitantly into Clary's room. She's curled into a ball on the bed, shaking with sobs. I pull her into my lap, holding her and stroking her hair until she stops crying. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask warmly.

She shrugs and puts her head on my shoulder. "Who was that guy?" I ask, trying to get her to talk about it.

"Sebastian." she answers, her voice shaky.

"The guy Luke thought was your boyfriend?" I ask, surprised.

Clary nods, and wipes at the tears covering her cheeks. "He probably told Luke that he was. He's crazy."

"Did he do something to you?" I immediately regret asking the question. It could be too personal and she probably doesn't want to talk about it. Or maybe I just won't like the answer.

Clary lift her head off of my shoulder, and looks into my eyes. Her face is void of emotions. "He did a lot of things."

**Hey guys! I hope you all had a great few days. I'm pretty sure this is my longest chapter yet. I wrote half of it over the three days I was unable to update.**

**Anyways, let me know what you think of this chapter.**

**AnnaW14, I still plan on using your idea, just not yet. I'm working up to it!**

**Leave me reviews!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who reviewed. We got a lot more reviews than usual, so that's awesome. Thanks so much. I love reading your opinions and your ideas!**

**I can't believe I'm already to Chapter 10! Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, followed or favorited my story. You guys are fantastic, and I hope you'll stay with me through the rest of the story.**

**To the guest called Rauguste: I know that opening up about everything seems like the most logical thing for her to do, but keep in mind that Clary has been through a lot, and while she's strong as hell, she has only known Jace for one day. I may be writing this is a way that seems like longer, but it hasn't been long at all. She just needs some time, and I don't want to rush things.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

_Previously on Breathless:_

_-Jace-_

_"Did he do something to you?" I immediately regret asking the question. It could be too personal and she probably doesn't want to talk about it. Or maybe I just won't like the answer._

_Clary lift her head off of my shoulder, and looks into my eyes. Her face is void of emotions. "He did a lot of things."_

-Clary-

Jace looks at me, waiting for me to continue. When I don't, he asks "What did he do?"

I lay my head back on his shoulder, pressing closer to him. I ignore the part of myself that tells me to move away. The part that tells me I should never let anyone get this close. "He, um..." just as I was about to give in, and tell him everything that happened to me, Isabelle came crashing through my bedroom door.

"Hot damn, what is going on in here?" she looks at us, smiling like she caught us doing something that should make me blush. And I do. I'm still sitting in Jace's lap with my head on his shoulder. One of his arms is around my waist, and his other hand is in my hair.

"Piss off, Nobby." Jace hisses.

Izzy places her hands on her his delicately, and opens her mouth to say something. Before she can, she looks at my face, and pauses for a moment. "Clary, are you okay? Jace, you're making her cry already?"

"What? No, I'm not. Get out of here, Isabelle." Izzy huffs, but finally leaves. "What were you saying?" Jace asks, tenderly stroking my hair.

I want to tell him, but I've lost my nerve. "Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, Clary. That guy thinks he owns you, and I want to know why." Jace is angry. I know he isn't angry at me, and he won't hurt me but I can't stop myself from cringing away from him. The anger in his expression distorts until he doesn't look like anything other than sadness.

"I'm sorry, Jace. No one has been this nice to me in a long time." I move back into his arms hoping that the sadness in his face with soften, but it doesn't. He watches me for so long that I can't picture him doing anything else ever again. I want to say something, anything to break the silence but all that comes out is "I'm sorry." My voice sounds foreign, like it came from a far away place and not from me.

When Jace finally speaks all he says is "Don't apologize. If anyone should be sorry, it's me. I don't want to scare you." his voice is soft, and I didn't know anyone could sound this sad. He moves his hand from my hair, and brushes over my cheek and down to my neck. He leans forward, and I think he's going to kiss me but he doesn't. He just presses his forehead to mine, and looks into my eyes. He smells like soap, rain and something else that I don't know how to name. His eyes sparkle with intelligence and humor, just like they always do.

"Stop." I say, shakily.

"Stop what?" he whispers in return.

"Looking at me like that." Immediately, the sadness in his face transforms into something entirely different. He looks sexy, and confident. I imagine that I look the opposite.

"I don't know what you're talking about" he mumbles, rubbing his thumb along my jawline. I try to back my head away from his, suddenly uncomfortable with how close he is, but he just pulls me back.

"What are you doing?" I whisper so quietly that he woulndn't have heard me if he wasn't so close.

"Making you nervous." he says, reaching for the zipper of my jacket.

"Why?" he isn't looking at my face anymore. He's sliding the zipper down, slowly and I don't know why I'm not stopping him.

"Because you haven't stopped me yet." I let him toss my jacket to the floor, and even though I'm still fully clothed, I feel exposed. He traces my collar bone with his thumb, and I shiver. "Okay, I'll stop now." Jace presses his lips to my forehead. His lips are warm and soft, and I wonder how his lips would feel pressed against mine. He pulls away, and leaves the room.

I don't tell him that I didn't want him to stop.

**Sorry it's so short. I'm playing tomb raider, and really want to get back to it. Hope you guys like this chapter. Leave me a review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! This chapter is dedicated to the Guest who left the review that just said "More!" because it made me laugh.**

Taking a break from Tomb Raider to write this. I'll try not to make it so short this time.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.

On to chapter eleven!

-Jace-

_I need a shower. A cold shower. _"God Jace, what are you doing?" I scold myself out loud. I almost kissed Clary, but then I just pretended that's not what I was doing and put my forehead to hers. With any other girl, I would have just done it. It wouldn't have meant anything. But not with her. It's too soon, and there's too much I don't know. I'm not sure what Sebastian did, but I am sure that it was bad and I don't want to freak her out.

After I take a shower, I don't bother getting dressed. I turn the lock on my door, and fall lazily onto my bed. I don't know what I'm going to do. Clary was about to tell me. I'm sure of it, but of course Isabelle has to come down and ruin it.

And then I got mad, and scared her. But then... _Oh dear God, she's beautiful. _I let my hand creep under my towel, thinking of Clary. The way her breath felt on my neck. How her hair feels under my fingertips. I picture her collar bone, her lips and the way she looks into my eyes as if she's searching for something in them. Something she's lost. I imagine finishing what I started.

-Clary-

After Jace leaves I don't know what to do anymore, so I just take another shower to wash away the sweat sticking to my skin from running away from Sebastian. And the nervous sweat Jace left me with. _He's making me sexually frustrated and nervous on purpose._

I've never wanted anyone in this way before. I've had crushes and even kissed a few boys before, but I've never thought of having sex with anyone. I didn't think I'd ever get away from Sebastian, so I assumed that he was the only one I'd ever sleep with. I thought I'd be stuck forever, but now I'm not.

I step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my body. The less severe bruises have begun to fade, but the large one on my back and shoulders is still dark purple. It looks harsh in contrast with my lightly colored skin. I turn away from the mirror, making my way back into my room to find something to wear. I decide on another baggy black t-shirt with the words "Never sleep again" in dull red lettering and a pair of dark wash blue jeans.

Just outside of my room I crash into Jace. "Sorry." I tell him, stepping back and blushing. He smiles at me, and flips his golden hair from his eyes.

"Izzy and Alec went out, and Maryse is still in court. It's" Jace looks at his cell phone "almost five. We haven't eaten anything since breakfast, so..." Jace trail off. I don't say anything. "Do you want to go somewhere for dinner, or I could order something?"

I'm about to tell him to order something when my phone starts ringing. I pull it out of my pocket, and look at the screen. "It's my brother. One second." I tell Jace.

"You should invite him to dinner. we can meet him somewhere." Jace says, and I nod, answering the phone call.

"Hey Johnathan." I say, still looking at Jace.

"Hey CC." he says cheerfully. "I was just calling to make sure you're doing okay."

"I'm good. Are you busy right now?" I ask him, hoping he'll say no.

"I'm not. Why?" I smile at this.

"Jace and I were going to go get dinner, and he says to invite you." I reply, leaning against the wall. Jace is still watching me, and I try my hardest to keep the nervous feeling out of my stomach, but I can't.

"Sure! I'd love to. I've missed you so much. Where?"

"One second." I say, pulling the phone away from my ear. "Where?" I ask Jace.

He thinks for half a second, before saying "The Downtown Diner. They have _everything."_

"The Downtown Diner." I say into the phone, and Johnathan says he'll meet us there in a few moments then we hang up. "He says he'll meet us in a few minutes." Jace nods, and I go in my room the grab my jacket. It's still on the floor where Jace threw it, and I blush at the memory.

Jace opens the car door for me, and walks around to the drivers seat. The drive only takes five minutes, and I don't see John's car in the parking lot yet. Jace and I walk in and get a table. We choose a booth next to the window, and Jace sits across from me. we sit there silently, sipping water until Johnathan walks in.

-Jace- 

I look over to the doorway as the boy from Clary's drawing walks through the door. He's older than he was in the drawing, and in the photo she keeps beside her bed. Clary slides out of the booth, and he pulls her into a bone crushing hug. She's happier than I've ever seen her. She slides back into the booth, and he scoots in beside her. "Hi, I'm Johnathan Morganstern. Clary's brother." he says, reaching out his hand.

I shake it saying "I'm Jace Wayland, Clary's..." I stop, realizing that I don't know what to call her. _Alec and Isabelle are my siblings, but what is Clary?_

"Friend." Clary finishes for me. I glance at her, and smile. _I like the sound of that._

"Good to meet you." Johnathan says, as the waitress comes to our table.

"Are you ready to order?" she says in a nasally voice. We all nod, and tell her what we want. I don't say much for the next few minutes. I just watch the way Clary interacts with her brother. She trusts him, and I can't help wondering if she'll ever trust me that much. I want her to.

"So CC, what have you been up to?" her brother asks, smiling at her like there's no one else he'd rather be talking to.

"Well, you know.. Spent a few days in the police station. Isabelle forced me to go shopping. Jace punched Sebastian in the face." she recounts these things like she's reading off a list that she's made of everything she needs to tell him.

Johnathan laughs for a few seconds before choking out a "What?!"

Clary looks me in the eye for a second, and then looks back at her brother. "He punches Sebastian." she says, nodding in my direction. "I think he broke his nose."

Johnathan laughs again, and gives me a not of approval. "How'd it feel?" he asks me in a way that implies that he's been dreaming of hitting the kid for years.

I speak for the first time in fifteen minutes, as the waitress brings our food. "Satisfying." We spend the rest of dinner making jokes and laughing between bites of food. Clary and Johnathan fill each other in on everything that's going on in their lives, and they listen to each other carefully, as if the information they're reporting to one another is the most important thing they'll ever hear.

I learn that Clary can play the Ukulele, the bass and the piano. Her father made them both learn three instruments, and those were her choices. Johnathan plays the drums, guitar and the bass. When Clary gets up to go to the restroom Johnathan turns his eyes on me, and says "She likes you."

"What?" I laugh out, but stop when I see that he's serious.

"She likes you, and I can already tell that you like her. _Friends _don't look at each other that way." I search his face, trying to find something that will give away his intentions, but there's nothing. He's a blank slate. "Look, CC has been through a lot in the last two years. She probably isn't telling you yet, because she hardly even talks to me about it, but she'll come around. Be careful with her, she doesn't need another man in her life who's going to hurt her."

"I don't want to hurt her." I mumble into the space between us, but I don't think it will ever reach him. "Can I ask you something?" John nods, indicating that I should continue. "What did Sebastian do?"

His face goes pale. "What do you mean?"

"We saw him this morning, and Clary was afraid. He acted like he owns her, and tried to take her away, but I punched him." Johnathan smiles again when I say that I punched Sebastian. "She ran away. When we got home, I tried to talk to her about it. She admit that he did something, but she didn't say what."

Johnathan mutters "Fuck!" under his breath, and I give him a questioning look. "I suspected that something might be going on, but she denied everything. I think I'm probably the last person she'd want to talk to about _that." _Johnathan's expression is a mixture of sadness, disgust and anger.

Realization hits me, and everything makes sense. "Oh. You don't think he..." I trail off, knowing exactly what he thinks. Before we can continue the conversation, Clary comes back. If she notices the tension in the air, she does not say so.

After about fifteen more minutes of an uncomfortable silence, we decide that it's time to go home. Clary and Johnathan say their goodbye's while I go up to pay for our meals. John tried to pay, but I insisted. _It's Robert's money anyways. _

-Clary-

In the car, Jace is quieter than usual. I try several times to strike up a conversation, but he just mutters one word replies. "Thank you for this. I had a lot of fun." I tell him.

He finally comes out of his thoughts when we pull into the driveway. "Sure thing. Your brother is really cool." he says, pulling the keys from the ignition. When we get inside, he walks downstairs and I follow behind him. When he sits on the blue couch, I sit down beside him. "Why does your brother call you CC?" he asks, turning to face me.

I smile fondly at the memory. "It started when I was 12, and he was 15. It stands for Crystal Clear. Because I'm pale." Jace smiles too, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Are you okay? You've been acting.. Weird since I left the two of you alone. Did he threaten you or something? He's been known to do that." _Stop rambling._

"Everything is fine. He didn't do anything, we just talked about.. Something." he mutters, looking away. From the look on his face, I know that John told him something.

"What did he tell you?" my voice shakes.

"Nothing." I know he's lying.

"He told you something. Tell me." I demand, trying not to sound frustrated.

"Let's not talk about this now." he begs. I decide to let it go for now. Jace picks me up, and places me on his lap again. My heart leaps, but I try to seem more confident than I did earlier. This time there's no snot on my face, so I feel a little better about it. His arm snakes around my waist, and I do my best to keep my cool. This time, I remove my own jacket and then I remove his.

I turn, and place one of my knees on each side of his hips. My heart is pounding, but I do my best to remain calm and collected. This time it's Jace who asks "What are you doing?"

I try to imitate his tone when I say "Making you nervous."

Jace nods. "Yes, you are." his voice is a little uneven, but he doesn't look nervous. He looks confident and sexy, just like he always does.

"Really?" I ask, surprise evident in my voice.

Jace starts laughing, and he puts his fingers in the back of my hair. "You're probably making yourself more nervous than me." I try to look away, but he just turns my head back to look at him. He runs his thumb softly over my lips, and my heart leaps. "Your brother says you like me."

My eyes go wide, and my stomach ties itself into knots. "What?" Jace doesn't answer. He just leans forward, and this time I _know _he's going to kiss me. I do my best to calm my breathing. His lips brush softly against mine and then... He pulls away and kisses my cheek.

I groan, in protest and he laughs. "You're doing this on purpose." I mumble, trying to move off of his lap. He grabs my hips, as if to say that he wants me to stay.

"Doing what?" he asks innocently.

"Making my sexually frustrated." I mutter, and then turn red realizing what I just said.

"AM I?!" Jace says, a little too happily. I try to turn away from him, but he's still not having it. He lays down on the couch and pulls me down beside him, so we're facing each other. We don't say anything after that. He pulls me into him, and we lay there until my muscles have committed him to memory.

**HAH. Yay, Johnathan! This was fun to write. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it.  
**

**Leave me a review! Let me know what you think, and what you'd like to see happen. And what you liked or didn't like about this chapter.**

See you guys tomorrow, probably.  


**-IWriteNaked**


	12. Chapter 12

**Lucente: I absolutely agree with you. I was just thinking the same thing, but I'm formulating a plan to correct this, and slow things down. I'm working my way up to something. I need more conflict in this story, and right now trust is the biggest one.**

**Also, GreyGirl2358: You're awesome. "Sebastard" and "Valenslime" makes me laugh every time. You should make an account or sign in or whatever, because I would love to talk to you!**

**This chapter contains a slightly graphic scene. You've been warned, so read at your own risk.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm **_**still **_**just dicking around.**

-Jace-

After Clary fell asleep on the couch, I carried her to her room and went back into my own room. A clicking noise pierces through the sound of the song I'm playing on my keyboard. _Izzy is coming down the stairs. _

_Click. Click. Click. _Her high heels click against the floor. _I do not want to deal with Izzy right now. _When she knocks on the door of my bedroom, and doesn't wait for me to answer before walking in. "So, did you kiss her yet?" I shake me head '_no' _and she asks "Do you actually like her, or are you just trying to sleep with her?"

"Go away, Isabelle." I groan, turning back to my keyboard determined to ignore her.

"So you do like her." Izzy states, like she's found out my deepest secret. "Why didn't you tell me?" _She acts like I've told her my secrets before._

"Oh, Iz! I didn't tell you? Probably because it's none of your business." Isabelle flinches, but tries to pretend that nothing I say could hurt her.

"You're a jerk, Jace." she mumbles, turning to leave.

"What an amazing and valuable opinion." I call sarcastically after her.

"I'm serious Jace." she says turning back toward me. "You've never let anyone get close to you. And now this girl comes along, and you're suddenly this completely different person when she's around."

"Iz," I start, trying to find the best way to convey my feelings "She's been through the same things as I have. You wouldn't understand, Isabelle. You've never had anyone that wanted to hurt you, and I'm glad that you didn't have to go through that, but you'll never understand what I went through." Izzy stands there, shocked.

She looks down at the floor. "You've never admit to it before." she says. "I always knew. I've seen the way you keep everyone at arms length, but I never thought you'd admit it." Isabelle smiles sadly, before walking out of my room, and I hear the click of her heels heading up the stairs.

-Clary-

_I turn me head away, but Sebastian grabbed harshly at my hair, forcing me to look him in the eye. My back is against the wall, and Sebastian is standing shirtless in front of me, pressing himself against my body. He grabs a handful of my hair, and pulls it back yanking my head back, so he can press his lips to mine._

_I remind myself that struggling will only make this worse, but I can't stop myself from trying to break away from his grasp. His lips feel hot and disgusting against mine. I do not return his kiss, but it doesn't kill his enthusiasm. He kisses hungrily across my jaw, and down my neck. "Fuck, Clary." he growls into my ear. I close my eyes and try to imagine that I'm anywhere but here. "Open your eyes, Clarissa." I intend to ignore him, until he grips my wrists so tightly that I can't ignore him anymore._

_He pulls me away from the wall, and pushes me onto my bed. I hit my head on the headboard, but he doesn't care. He's removing his jeans, and crawling on top of me. I don't know when my own clothing were thrown onto the floor, but I guess it doesn't really matter. Having discarded his last article of clothing, Sebastian crawls naked on top of me. I want to scream but no one will hear me. No one will care. There isn't anyone coming to save me. This is my life now._

_His breathing is rapid, it's hot and sticky against my neck. It smells like cigarettes and his hair smells like strawberries. It's an unpleasant combination. His hands are in my hair, and his tongue traces my collar bone. I am uncomfortably aware of everything he is doing to me, but I am powerless to stop it. When I try to push at his chest, he pins my arms above my head. He's stronger than I am and he is not gentle, but I don't expect him to be._

"Clary, wake up." a voice says. When I open my eyes, I'm still in my room at the Lightwood's house. Jace is standing by my bed, and I'm curled up in the middle. when he sits down on the bed, I scoot away from him. "Do you want to walk about it?" he asks.

I shake my head, not looking at him. There are tears forming in my eyes, and tell myself not to cry. I reach for the lamp on my bedside table, and twist the knob. Jace reaches for me, but I jerk away from him. "Please don't touch me."

Jace sighs. "Do you trust me?" he asks in a soft voice.

I look into his tawny eyes, trying to find some sort of motive behind the question. "No." I answer honestly. Part of me wants to trust him, but there's a bigger part of me that doesn't want to trust anyone. His face falls, and he gets off the bed and walks out of the room. I wait for him to come back, but he doesn't. _He's angry with me..._

-Jace-

"Do you trust me?" I ask, not expecting her to answer.

Her emerald eyes catch mine. In a small voice she whispers "No." I let my face fall into an emotionless expression. I don't know why I'm upset. Why should she trust me? We just met, and if Johnathan and I are right, she's probably terrified of me. I don't know what to say, so I just leave. _There's nothing I can do for her right now._

**Hey guys! Sorry it's so short again. I'm having a **_**little **_**bit of writers block, and I just don't feel like writing right now.**

**Unfortunately, I won't be able to update again until Wednesday. (Boyfriends off work and all) but I write a little every night, so I'll try to have a long chapter for you guys by wednesday.**

**See you soon.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	13. Chapter 13

**Suddenly feeling inspired.**

GreyGirl2358: That's unfortunate! I know a lot of people have said that they want Clary to open up, but I feel like it's too soon. I promise that she will, she just needs some time.

Just to put things into perspective for everyone who thinks it's time: The story started on Sunday, Valentine died on Monday, and Clary moved into the Lightwood's house on Friday. It was Saturday night in the last chapter. She hasn't known him long at all. Maybe I'm writing this in a way that makes it seem like longer? This chapter starts on Tuesday.

Originally, the last chapter was written where Clary tells Jace everything, because even I forget that it's only been a day. But I thought about it, and I think it's too soon. Sorry guys.

Thanks to AnnaW14 who gave me the idea for the end of this chapter!

Disclaimer: I'm just dicking around. I don't own the Mortal Instruments. Why would I write FanFictions of my own work?

-Clary-

It's been three days since I told Jace I don't trust him. He's hardly looked at me, and whenever I walk into the room he'll walk out. Izzy has plans to have _'bonding time' _together tonight. She's spend the last several days with me, since Jace is avoiding me. I found out that she's actually very nice, and I like her a lot. She's just... Very _enthusiastic _about shopping and boys.

"Did you and Jace have a fight or something?" Isabelle asks, rummaging through my closet. She's picking something for me to wear, but she hasn't told me what we're doing yet.

"No. He's just mad at me." I say, but I don't want to talk about Jace.

"Why?" she calls from inside the closet. "Did you turn him down for sex or something?" Izzy says, walking out of the closet holding a black dress with thick straps.

I blush and turn away. "No."

"So you _did _have sex with him." Isabelle states, not sounding surprised at all.

"No!" I exclaim, putting my face into my palms. "He didn't ask for _that. _It's nothing like that."

Izzy hands me the dress, and pushes me toward the bathroom door. I leave the door open, so she can still hear me, but step out of her line of sight. "What is it then?"

I slip out of my jeans, and t-shirt, trying to find a way out of telling Isabelle. "Um..." I stall, stepping into the dress. It's form fitting, and comes down just below my knees. It's one of the more modest things Isabelle chose at the mall, and it covers the bruise on my back. The bruises on my legs are mostly gone, and the only on my back has gotten smaller, but it's still large and very noticeable.

"Clary?" Isabelle questions, after I don't answer her question.

"Yeah, I'm here." I say, walking back into my bedroom. "How does it look?" I ask, motioning to the dress.

"Fantastic!" she admires cheerfully. "Now, what's going on with you and my brother?"

"Can we not talk about Jace right now?" I ask.

"Fine. But you're telling me later." Izzy demands, giving me a look that lets me know I have no way of getting out of it. "Come here." she points to the floor in front of her, and I walk over to her. She pulls various different things from her makeup bag, and I just stand there for the next fifteen minutes while she applies, removes and reapplies makeup to my face.

She somehow works magic on my hair, making is curly but not frizzy. She adjusts it, letting it fall over my shoulders, and steps back to admire her work. She whistles, and I laugh at her. "Now you just need shoes." she says, walking back into my closet.

She comes out with a black pair of ridiculously high heels, and a pair of flats. I reach for the flats, and she rolls her eyes. "Where are we going?" 

"The city." she says, simply. 

"That narrows it down." I mumble, sitting on my bed and slipping on a pair of plain black flats.

-Later-

We walk into a restaurant that I've never heard of before. There's heavy metal music playing, and the waitresses are all covered in tattoos. I look at Isabelle and she just smiles at me like this is normal. "They have really good food." she defends.

"Oh, okay." I say, laughing. We sit down in a booth on the back wall, and a woman with spiky black hair and tattooed on eyeliner comes to take our order. Her nametag reads 'Dude.' _I like this place._

I order a turkey wrap, and Isabelle orders the French dip sandwich. I let her ramble about some boy named Simon for a while, until our food comes. Apparently, he's a giant nerd and she doesn't usually go for the nerdy type, but he's awesome. "So, are you going to tell me what happened with Jace?"

"I really don't want to talk about him." I say, taking a bite of my wrap.

"Come on, Clary! I've already tried to pry it out of him, but he's impossible." Izzy whines, giving me puppy eyes. 

"It's just.. something to do with my past." I say. Isabelle looks like she's going to be sick. "You know." I meant for it to come out as a question, but it ended up as a statement.

"Jace said something about it, and I just..." Isabelle trails off. "Did he do something that scared you?"

"No. He's upset because I don't trust him." I mumble, reaching for my glass of Mountain Dew. I sip it through a straw, and Isabelle just nods. After a few moments of silence, she goes back to talking about Simon and then we go home. 

-Jace-

I haven't spoken to Clary in three days. I know I'm overreacting, but I don't know what to do or how to make her trust me. I didn't think it would be easy, so why do I feel like this? _Why am I angry? _And more importantly, who am I angry with?

I hear Isabelle and Clary come in through the front door. The clicking of Isabelle's heels disappears up the stairs to her room, and Clary comes down alone. I'm on the couch, and she sits down on the other side of it. "I'm sorry." she says, looking down at her hands in her lap. She's picking at the skin around her nails again. It's something she does when she's nervous, I've noticed.

I sigh. "Don't be sorry, Clary." I run my fingers through my hair, and take a deep breath before continuing. "I understand, and I'm not mad at you. I'm just" I pause to find the right word "frustrated."

"Frustrated?" Clary says as if she's just seeing how the word tastes in her mouth. "You ignored me for several days because I said I don't trust you, and _you're _the one who's frustrated?"

"Clary, I'm just worried about you." I say calmly, hoping she's adjust her tone. I've never seen her angry before, but I don't like it.

"You've got a fucking great way of showing it, Jace." she yells at me.

"Calm down." I put my hands up in surrender. "I was wrong. I just thought you needed space."

"Isabelle was right." she says, putting her head in her hands. "You're a dick." she laughs humorlessly, and shaking her head. I don't have time to say anything else before she get up from the couch and walks into her room. I hear the lock click.

-Clary-

I'm fuming, and even though I shouldn't be this angry, I am. I have this longing in my stomach for anything familiar, and I know that this is a stupid idea but I don't care. I'm really fucking upset.

I pull my phone into my pocket and dial punch in the phone number I've read over so many time it's been etched into my brain. It rings twice before he answers. "Hello?" his voice is calm, and familiar. My heart leaps, because I know this is a bad idea.

"Hey."

"Clary?" his voice is higher this time. More frantic.

"Take me away, Sebastian."

**OH SHIT. I'm really sorry guys. I know a lot of you are probably mad at me, but I'll fix it. I promise.**

-IWriteNaked


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys. I'm so glad it's finally Wednesday. I've spent the last several days trying to figure out exactly how to do this chapter, and I've written it in three different ways. I've decided on this way, because I actually came up with a plan.**

Sorry to everyone who's mad at me for the cliff hanger! I'll just get right to the chapter now.

WARNING: Adult content. Sexual abuse. Graphic scene. Foul language. You've been warned. Read at your own risk.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.

-Clary-

"Where are you? I'll come get you." Sebastian promised. I tell him my address, and before we hang up he adds "I love you, Clary. I'll see you soon." His voice had taken on a ghoulish tone, and I'm instantly certain that I should not do this.

But I look back over the last several days of Jace avoiding me, then being a pompous ass and all I want is something that's familiar to me. Something I'm used to. I need something from my life in the mundane, and even though I know what happens with Sebastian is far from normal, it's something I know how to handle.

I know there's something wrong with me. Mentally stable people don't get angry with people who want to protect them, and run back to the people they're trying to protect them from. _Maybe I have Stockholm syndrome._

My cell phone chimes with a text from Sebastian, saying he's outside. I pocket the phone, sneak upstairs and out the front door.

"I've missed you." Sebastian expresses and the sound of his _affection _resonates softly between us. I've lost my nerve.

"Sebastian... I'm sorry that I made you drive all the way here, but I think I've changed my mind." I explain with a shaky voice.

"Let's just go somewhere. I'll bring you back in a little while." Sebastian offers. I don't believe him, but I'm afraid of what he might do if I argue with him so I just nod.

He holds my hand while he drives, and I wish he drove a stickshift. I sink back into the person who does whatever he says, and don't pull my hand away. When we pull up to his house, I let him lead me to his bedroom. _What have I gotten myself into?_

His room is messy. There are clothes everywhere, and it smells like cigarettes and weed. Sebastian takes a step toward me, and I step back in response. "Don't be scared, Clary. I won't hurt you." Sebastian states, but he's clearly nothing but detached. He pushes me gently toward the bed and removes his shirt.

"I don't want to do this." I interrupt, just before he presses his lips to mine.

Sebastian shifts so his lips are next to my ear. "Clary, just do as I say and I will take you home afterwards." his voice was taunting me, telling me to fight him. My entire body goes tense as he reaches for the zipper on his jeans. He places his hands delicately on my shoulder and tells me to "Relax." before applying more pressure in order to push me onto my knees.

I've never done _this _before. He never asked me to, and I don't even know how. When he pulls out his erection, I turn my head away and I'm reminded of something Jenna Marbles said. "Sticking your dick in my face doesn't make me want to suck it." I didn't mean to say it out loud. Sebastian pulls me to my feet, and his palm collides with my cheek.

He's never hit me before. He's only restrained me, and hurt me in other ways. He ignores the frightened expression on my face, and throws me onto his bed. It only takes him a few seconds to remove the dress I was still wearing from dinner with Isabelle.

He climbs on top of me, and I thrash around trying to get away from him, but he's too strong. His lips crash forcefully onto mine, but I don't return the kiss. I focus on making it as uncomfortable for him as I can. "Kiss me back." he growls, but I don't comply.

My disobedience makes him angry. Sebastian jams himself into me, and I cry out in pain. "Sebastian, please stop. It hurts." I beg, pushing his chest. He's heavy and strong.

He grunts, pinning my arms above my head. "Good." he spits. "You deserve this, you little bitch." He doesn't hold my arms for very long. He knows I won't be able to get away, but that doesn't stop me from trying. Once my arms are free, I push at him as hard as I can, digging my nails into his skin to the point of drawing blood.

Sebastian moans my name, and it sounds filthy coming out of his mouth. "Mmm, Clary. You know I like it rough." he wraps his fingers around my neck, cutting off my air supply. "Come on, baby. Fight me." I try desperately to remove his hand from my neck, but I can't. He lets go on his own before doing terribly damage, and I gasp, filling my lungs quickly.

Sebastian grabs a handful of my hair, groaning in ecstasy. I breathe a sigh of relief that it's finally over. His peels his body from mine, and throws me my dress. "Get dressed. I'll take you home." A huge weight is lifted from my chest. _He's really going to take me home._

The car ride feels like it takes hours, though in reality it's only minutes. The entire time he drives, his hand holds possessively to my knee, too tightly. It will leave a bruise.

When we pull up to the Lightwoods house Sebastian says "I'll call you. Let's do this again soon." There's nothing left for me to say, so I just nod. _He sounds like he's dropping from off from our first date._

**...**

I turn the water on a little too hot, but I don't move to correct it. I stand there until I've gotten used to the heat. My skin is angry and red, but it doesn't begin to match the way I feel. I know that this sickening feeling can't be scrubbed away, but I try anyways.

I am suddenly very aware that I am going to throw up. Not in a few moments, but right now. I run out of the shower and heave everything inside of me into the toilet bowl. It's not the first time Sebastian has made me literally sick to my stomach.

A voice calls from outside my bathroom door. "Clary?" Jace yells over the sound of my shower still running. "Are you okay?"

"One second, Jace." I call out, turning the shower off. I quickly brush my teeth, and then realize I didn't bring any clothes in here with me. I only have a towel. _Shit._

**Hey guys, sorry it's short. I was going to continue, but my mother wants to hang out with me and I need to take a shower. And I got a late start, because I was updating my profile. It's pretty fun now.**

See you guys tomorrow!

Leave me a review! What do you think Clary will do about not having any clothes with her, and Jace standing outside the door? Hahahaha. (Sorry, I just added it because I thought it was funny)

-IWriteNaked


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey. I know I said I wasn't updating until tomorrow, but I just got home from hanging out with my mommy, and I didn't think anyone would mind if I updated again today. I'm just so enthusiastic about this story, and I can't wait to continue it.**

**I'm in a foul mouthed kind of mood, so there might be a lot of cursing in this chapter. Sorry.**

Oh, and this chapter is dedicated to RitzaHerondale because "continueeee pleaseee" cracked me up, for some reason.  


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary-

_Fucking shit. _"Um, Jace." I call through the door.

"Yeah?" his normal sarcastic tone is diluted in concern.

"I, um..." I mumble awkwardly. "Could you, uh, look the other way for a few minutes?"

I hear Jace laugh before saying "Sure." I wrap a fluffy teal towel around myself and peak into my room. Jace is looking right at me. "Problem?"

"Turn around." I tell him.

He looks at me for a second before turning around. When I don't move right away, he turns his head to the side. "Are you checking me out?" I laugh wryly, and run over to my dresser where I pull out light blue plaid pajama pants and put them on before pulling out my Ice Nine Kills band t-shirt with a dinosaur eating people on the front, and "I believe in dinosaurs" on the back. My brother bought it for me for my birthday last year.

When I turn around, Jace is watching me. "You said you wouldn't look!"

He flashes a cocky smile and says "I never said that." I huff, because that's true. He never said he wouldn't look, it was just kind of assumed. His face turns serious a moment later. "What happened?"

I try to pretend I don't know what he means. "What are you talking about?" I ask innocently.

Jace sighs and walks over to me. He guides me to my bed, and we sit down. He reaches for my hands and looks at my wrists. "There bruises are new."he observes. "There are more on your legs. And one on your cheek." He runs his fingers over a spot on my arms where I scrubbed it raw. It stings, but I don't flinch.

"I can't believe you looked at me naked." I murmur, trying to change the subject.

"Would it make you feel better if I let you see me naked?" Jace offers. I look at him, astonished and he just smiles like it's the most natural offer in the world.

"No, thank you." I say, laughing lightly.

Jace shrugs. "Offer's on the table."

"I'll keep that in mind." I recovered.

"Where did you go?" Jace asks.

I groan. "You know I went somewhere?"

Jace nods. "I heard you leaving, and coming back in." he admits.

"Oh..."

"So where did you go?" he asks again.

I bring my knees up, and put my head down on them. "I don't want to tell you." I say weakly.

"Because you don't trust me." Jace states.

"I'm trying to." I announce. My eyes close, and I notice just how _exhausted _I am. "Isn't that good enough?"

I feel a hand on my shoulder, but I don't look up at him. "I'll take what I can get." he laughs out.

"You're intimidating as shit." I tell him.

He laughs for a minute. "I won't hurt you." His voice is sweet again. His personality changes are very conflicting. I finally lift my head, and Jace stares at my neck. I'm confused for a moment, and then and image of Sebastian on top of me flashes in my mind. I can feel his hand on my neck, and for a second I can't breathe.

I recover, and suck in a harsh breath but I can't stop the tears.

-Jace-

Clary peaks her head out of her bathroom, and tells me to turn around. I do as she says, but she doesn't move from behind the door. "Are you checking me out?" I ask smugly.

Clary makes a shocked laughing noise, and runs across the room. I turn around, and she's facing away from me. When she drops the towel, it's not her figure or her ass that I stare at. Though I might have, if it weren't for the bruises on her thighs. _I know what causes those._ They look pretty new. She slips into her pajamas and turns around. _Shit. She caught me. _"You said you wouldn't look!"

I flash her a smile and say "I never said that." Clary lets out a frustrated breath. "What happened?"

Clary looks incredibly fucking innocent when she asks "What are you talking about?"

I sigh, and lead her over to the bed and sit down with her. I try to ask her about them, but all she says is "I can't believe you looked at me naked."

I laugh. "Would it make you feel better if I let you see me naked?" I'm joking, mostly. But I don't let Clary know that.

A blush creeps into her cheeks, and she looks at me with a shocked expression. She regains her composure and says "No, thank you."

I lift my shoulders and let them drop back down. "Offer's on the table."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Before she has the time to do anything else I ask her "Where did you go?"

"You know I went somewhere?" she asks, surprised.

I tell her that I heard her leaving, and coming back in and she just says "Oh."

"So where did you go?" I press.

Clary brings her thin legs up to her chest and lays her head down. "I don't want to tell you."

"Because you don't trust me." I meant it as a question, but it comes out as a statement.

"I'm trying to. Isn't that good enough?" I'm a little struck by this. _She's trying. _I place my hand lightly on her shoulder, but she doesn't make a move to look at me.

I chuckle while I say "I'll take what I can get."

"You're intimidating as shit." Clary mumbles, tiredly.

"I won't hurt you." I say instantly, after my laughter subsides. Clary lifts her head, and for the first time I notice the bruises on her neck. I think she notices, but for a moment her expression goes blank and she isn't breathing. She sucks in a deep breath, and there are tears spilling over the brim of her eyes. I pull her to me, and she doesn't resist. She cries into my chest, and I just rub up and down her arm. "Shh, it's okay."

Clary sniffs, and backs away a little to wipe the tears from her eyes. "Sorry." she says.

"What for?" I ask.

"There are black marks on your shirt." she points to my chest, and sure enough there are black splotches on my white t-shirt.

"It doesn't matter." I tell her. "What's wrong?"

"I want to tell you." she takes in a shaky breath, but doesn't continue talking.

"You can tell me, Clary."

"Not now. Not like this." protests.

**Okay, see you guys tomorrow.**

**Until then, review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	16. Chapter 16

**Excited about this chapter.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.

-Clary-

"Isabelle, stop trying to cook." Alec complains, walking into the kitchen.

"I'm just making salad, guys. There's no way I can mess this up." Izzy defends.

"Isabelle, I'm not eating salad. I'm going to order something." is Jace's contribution to the conversation. Alec nods in agreement, but I don't say anything.

"Salad is good for you. Just give it a shot, guys." Izzy begs.

"I did not climb to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian, Izzy." Jace calls, walking out of the room. He's dialing a number on his cell phone, so I'm assuming he's ordering something.

"I'll try it." I offer, and Isabelle smiles putting some salad onto two plates. She slides one over to me.

"Thanks, Clary. What kind of dressing do you like?" she asks, looking into the refrigerator.

"Caesar, or ranch. Either is fine." I say, and Izzy pulls out a bottle of ranch dressing and hands it to me. Alec pretends to gag. The salad actually isn't bad, though it doesn't take much skill to cut lettuce and add a few things to it. "Mmmm. It's good." I add, just to make Isabelle happy.

I've never seen her smile so big. "That's the first time anyone has ever said that about food I made." she explains. At the end of her sentence, the doorbell rings and Alec moves to answer it.

After a few moments, he makes his way back into the kitchen and says "Clary, there's someone called Sebastian looking for you?" I freeze, my eyes wide with shock.

-Jace-

I jump off the couch when I hear Alec say that Sebastian is here, looking for Clary. _What a cock. I can't believe that he had the nerve to come here after what he did to her last night._

I grab Clary's arm and she says "It's okay, Jace. I'm fine." I try to stop her from going to the door, but she's already on her feet taking deliberate steps away from me. Isabelle and Alec are oblivious to what's going on.

I follow Clary as she walks into the foyer, but stay out of sight. "Hey, baby." I hear Sebastian say, and I have this incredible urge to punch him again.

"What do you want Sebastian?" Clary's voice is tense.

"I had a good time with you last night." Sebastian says, and I hear feet shuffling. _Clary backing away. _"I'll see you again tonight, alright?"

"I don't want to, Sebastian." Clary whispers.

I decide it's time for me to step in, before Sebastian does something. "Sebastian! You know, I really wish we were better strangers."

"Get out of here, Wayland. I'm trying to have a private conversation with my girlfriend." Sebastian grabs Clary's bruised wrist, and pulls her closer to him. She tries to pull away.

I immediately formulate a plan that will make Sebastian angry, Clary uncomfortable, and it will amuse me. "You mean _my _girlfriend." I state, and Clary looks at me like I killed a man. Sebastian is so shocked that he lets go of her. Without warning, I lift Clary's feet from the ground, press her back against the wall and lightly place my lips on hers.

Clary doesn't respond. I can feel her heartbeat through my shirt, and I have to hold myself back from laughing. The kiss only lasts for a few seconds, but it's enough to piss of Sebastian and leave Clary speechless. Kissing her is exactly how I imagined it. Her lips are soft, and they quiver against mine. She whimpers. "What the _fuck_, Wayland."

I look away from Clary who's still trying to figure out what's going on as I place her back on the ground. She stumbles, but quickly stabilizes herself. "Oh, Sebastian. You're still here. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?" Clary giggles at this. "I'm sorry, Sebastian. I don't want to be rude. Aside from being irritating, daft and" I wave me hand in front of my face "smelly, you're a really fantastic guy." Sebastian doesn't say anything. He just huffs, and walks away in a fit.

Clary makes a noise that's somewhere between a laugh and a groan before looking at her feet and walking toward her room.

-Clary-

I enter my bedroom, with Jace trailing behind me. I sit on the bed gently, but don't say anything to Jace. _Jace just kissed me._"What's going on?" Isabelle asks, walking into my room.

"Clary's in shock because I kissed her." Jace states, simply.

Izzy smiles widely. "What!?"

"I'm a great kisser, Iz. She's in shock." Jace smiles.

Iz looks from me, to Jace and back at me. "I guess I'll leave you two alone then." Isabelle announces, and bounces out of my room.

"What... I... Ugh." I mutter, awkwardly. Jace sits down beside me.

"It was just the best way I could think of to get rid of him." he explains.

"You really couldn't have thought of something else?" I laugh.

"It was kind of last minute. I had to think fast. And I thought my plan had its benefits." Jace winks at me.

"Like what!?" I ask, mocking him.

"Sebastian's pissed off. You're cute when you're uncomfortable. And I finally got to kiss you. So it was pretty much a triple win for me." Jace admits, and I just glare at him for a minute before I realize that he isn't kidding.

My phone chimes with a text message, and I pull it out of my pocket.

_**Sebastian: WHAT THE FUCK, CLARISSA.**_

Jace takes my phone from my hand, and types something. "What are you saying to him?" I ask, curiously. He hands the phone back to me.

_**Clary: Jace is better in bed. And has a bigger penis.**_

"Jace!" I half yell, half laugh out.

_**Sebastian: That isn't funny, Clarissa. You'll never belong to anyone but me. I'll see you soon.**_

I sigh and set the phone down, because he's right. I don't stop Jace when he reaches for my phone, and reads what Sebastian said. "So, you went with Sebastian last night?" Jace asks. I nod, because he already knows. There's nothing I can do. "Why?"

I shrug. "I don't know. I was mad."

"Do you always put yourself in dangerous situations when you're angry?" Jace is angry again, and this time I think he's actually angry at me.

-Jace-

I knew she was with Sebastian last night, but now that she's admit it I feel terrible. She went because she was mad at me. I understand that she doesn't know how to have a healthy relationship, but that's jacked. The closest thing she's had to male attachment is her brother, so of course she doesn't know how guys are supposed to treat her.

"Do you always put yourself in dangerous situations when you're angry?" I ask a little too harshly, and Clary flinches.

"No." Clary blurts out. "I was just... I don't know." Clary puts her head in her hands. "I'm sorry."

"He hurt you." I state, and she just nods. "My parents died when I was eight." I say, surprising myself. Clary looks at me sympathetically, and I continue. "I didn't have any other family. The first foster home seemed okay when I first got there. But then they started locking me in my room for days at a time. The only time they opened the door was to make sure I had water. It was kept in a bowl, like I was a dog. I stayed there until I was eleven." I pause, taking Clary's hand in mine.

"The second home was worse. They started hitting me the second Maia pulled out of the driveway. And the wife..." I look away from Clary. I've never told anyone these things before, beside the people trying to get me out of there when I was 14, and this is the hardest part. "Once I turned 12, she stared... Touching me like she _wanted _me. She's guide my hands to do whatever she wanted, so she could get off. I didn't know what it meant. I was naive, and no one told me about that kind of thing. All I knew was that it was wrong, and I didn't want to do it. If I refused, she'd burn me with her curling iron." I hold my arm out to her, and she run her fingers over the five white scars spread across my forearm. "When I was 14 my teacher saw the burns and reported it. I didn't want to go to a new home. I thought it would be worse, but they finally put me here with the Lightwood's."

I look at Clary and there are tears in her eyes, but she doesn't say anything. I told her all of the things I've kept inside of me since I was eight years old, and she isn't saying anything. _This is why I don't tell people._ "I'm sorry, Jace." Clary pulls me to her, my face rest in the crook of her neck. I tell myself not to cry, but there are tears in my eyes.

**... Review?**

-IWriteNaked


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys. Please just bear with me today, I am not feeling well. This chapter might be very short because I'm sick, or it might be very long because I'm refusing to leave my room today. It really just depends.**

**To the guest called Rauguste: Clary has a backbone, she just doesn't know it yet. Of course her relationship with Sebastian doesn't make sense, she thinks he owns her. That's what she's been told. She's been doing what he says for so long that she doesn't know how to stop. Thank you for reviewing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

Jace only let himself be vulnerable for a few seconds, before pulling away. I've come to realize that he's just like me: Afraid. I can't believe I didn't see it before. It's etched into his retinas. He tries to hide it behind a sarcastic comment and a cocky grin, but it's there. "I trust you." I whisper. I didn't mean to say it.

Jace stares at me for a long time. I don't try to hide my face, despite my fear of being looked at for too long. I finally look away before starting my own story. "The funny thing is that I was only 14. I was naive, and I was too busy being angry to notice him. I didn't know what he wanted from me. He was 16, and I thought he was just kind of creepy to everyone. I never thought he would hurt me."

I pull my hand away from Jace, not wanting to be touched anymore. "The funny thing is that I didn't see it coming. I was angry that my mother died, and Valentine started hitting me. I was stuck in this raw stage of grief, where my life had been thrown. I never had the chance to heal, and it still hurts every day. The first night after Jon moved out, Sebastian came into my room. He acted casually, like he just wanted to hang out with me, which wasn't unusual for him."

Jace sucks in a breath, because he's angry but I just ignore him. I've never told anyone these things and I need to. "He offered me a drink, but I refused. I'd never had alcohol before." I start to cry, and Jace tries to pull me to him, but I don't let him. "But when 'No' was not enough to make him stop, I accepted the drink hoping that if I was drunk I wouldn't remember what he did to me."

I stand up, and walk across the room. Anger is not a new emotion for me, but I've never been furious at Sebastian until now. I only felt fear and sadness before. "But I do remember. i remember everything in such detail, I could paint a picture of the scene. But mostly, I remember the pain. I was a virgin, and he wasn't exactly gentle. I tried to fight him and he just said 'I like it rough'" I mock his tone. "and encouraged me to keep fighting." I feel the bile rise in my throat, but try not to notice it.

"I remember how his hands felt on my wrists when he pinned me down and took the only innocence I had left." I pause for a moment, trying not to picture it.

"The funny thing is that I thought he was cute when we first met. I'm forced to admit: it's a little funny." I laugh humorlessly, feeling agonizingly dejected.

"Clary, I-" Jace starts but I cut him off.

"Don't Jace. You already knew before." I pull my hoodie tighter around me. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you."

"I don't care if you trust me or not, right now. I will protect you with my life." Jace stands up and walks over to me, and wraps his arms around me. I don't pull away this time. I put my arms around his waist and he places his chin easily on the top of my head.

"Aw, this is so cute!" Isabelle's voice calls from the doorway. "Jace, are you going to kiss her again?" she asks excitedly. She has this way of showing up at the worst times. How does she walk so loudly all the time, yet she can still sneak up on you when you don't want to see her?

"Go away, Isabelle!" Jace says, putting his hand on the back of my head. My face is still in his chest. He smells like laundry soap and fabric softener.

I hear Izzy huff. "Clary, you want him to kiss you again don't you?"

I feel myself turning an unattractive shade of red, and I'm glad that no one can see my face. "Go away, Isabelle." I repeat Jace's words, but they're muffled by his black t-shirt. He knots his fists into my hair, chuckling as Izzy's heals click up the stairs.

"Fucking Isabelle." Jace mumbles, into my hair. "Come on, let's go somewhere." Jace says. I just not, and slip into my jacket, and put on a pair of shoes while he goes to his room to get his.

He opens the door on the passenger side of his car, and I get in. "Where are you going?" I ask, as he pulls out of the driveway.

"I haven't decided yet. Isabelle is driving me crazy though." he pushes his hair from his eyes. "So, your birthday is this Sunday." he says casually.

"How did you know that?" I ask.

"I know everything." he answers smiling, still keeping his eyes on the road and both hands on the steering wheel. "Where do you want to go?" he questions.

"Where do _you _want to go." I retort. "This was your idea."

"I don't know. I just wanted to be able to talk to you without Isabelle coming in." Jace laughs "She always comes in at the most inconvenient times."

"I've noticed that." I look away, suddenly uncomfortable. _Someone knows about the most secret part of me. _Jace pulls off the road in front of another river. "You really like rivers." I observe.

"Yeah... Something about the sound." he replies, opening his door. I get out of the car and meet his on the shoreline. We sit down on a large rock, and he laces his fingers through mine. I try not to question it. I remember sitting by the river near our old house with Jonathan, before mom died. He would always lift me from the ground and say that he was going to throw me in. Of course, he never did. My mother would come sit beside us with her sketchbook, and she's capture the image perfectly. They way the sun bounced off the water, and the shine in Jonathan's eyes. I wish I could draw as effortlessly as she did. "What are you thinking about?" Jace asks, pulling me back to the present.

"My mom." I ask, looking out at the sky. It's cloudy, but the sun is peaking out on the horizon. It's setting.

"What was she like?" he presses.

-Jace-

I lead Clary to a huge rock and we sit down on it, facing the water. I lace our fingers together perfectly. She gets this far away look in her eyes, like she's somewhere else. I want to know where she goes when her thoughts take her away from me. "What are you thinking about?" I ask.

That look is gone from her eyes gone when she answers "My mom."

I picture a woman who looks like Clary, sitting on a couch with Clary and Jonathan. They're laughing. "What was she like?"

"She was beautiful and soft." Clary pushes her red curls over one shoulder so it's all on one side. "She could draw or paint anything effortlessly, and it always turned out perfect. Valentine says I look like her. It's why he hated me, I think. But in turn, I think it's why Jon loves me. I don't really think I look that much like her, aside from having the same hair." Clary talks for a few more minutes about her mother. She tells me stories from when she was smaller, and she smiles at fond memories.

"She sounds like a great woman." I tell her, rubbing my thumb over hers. She turns her head toward me, and her hair falls over her shoulder perfectly. _She's beautiful. _

This seems like the perfect time to kiss her for real. Not just in order to make someone angry, but just for the sake of kissing her. The sun is setting, and she said she trusts me. But I know this isn't the right time. She's not ready for it yet, after what Sebastian did last night. I think of how her heartbeat felt against my chest earlier. How her lips quivered under mine, and all I want is to do it again. Now is not the time though, so instead I just bring her hand to my lips and place a kiss on her knuckles.

**Hey guys. Sorry it's short, but I don't feel well and I'm having troubles concentrating. Anyways, Clary opened up. Yay! What you've all been waiting for.**

**Leave me a review, and let me know what you think.**

**Until tomorrow,**

**-IWriteNaked.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys. Still not feeling 100 percent, but I'm a lot better than I was yesterday. Thanks to everyone who sent "Get well soon" and stuff like that. You're all too sweet.**

**To the guest called zuko4eva: I will probably include lemons eventually, but Clary isn't ready for it yet. Thank you for your review.**

**Throwing some Sizzy and Malec into this chapter. You're welcome. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Isabelle-

I woke up early for the first time in months to make sure everything is perfect for Clary's birthday. Jace and Alec said it would be a bad idea to throw a big party for her, since she doesn't even know any of our friends. I was disappointed, but I know they're right. Clary isn't even very comfortable with just us yet. She's only been here for just over a week.

Jace says she's opened up to him, but he won't tell me what she said. I can tell that he likes her a lot, but he'd never admit it. She's become a very close friend, already. She's the only one who will listen, or at least pretend to listen without saying she doesn't care, while I talk about Simon.

Jace sneaked into Clary's room while she was in the shower a few days ago, so he could steal her brothers number out of her phone. He says that having her brother with her today would be the best gift we could give her. I, on the other hand, would gladly give Alec and Jace away to replace them with sisters.

I walk down the hall, barefoot so I don't wake anyone. On the walls there are photos of Jace, Alec and I. We were in Venice, Italy a few years ago. My mother said we needed a vacation, but I know it was just to take her mind off of dad not being home. We haven't seen him in weeks. He doesn't even know about Clary. She let Jace choose where we went, and he chose Venice. He said something about how it had a rich history. Turns out a bunch of people died there, and that's why he wanted to go.

Beside the photo of us is Max. He was six years old, and the cutest thing in this world. He looked like Alec. He died two years before Jace came to live with us. His room is still the way he left it, even though it's been five years. I think I'm the only one who still goes in there. I think I'm the only one who still thinks about him, wondering what he would have been like. When he died I was so angry. I'd walk around my school wondering why my little brother had to die. Why him and not any of these other people? Love is selfish, and I'm not apologizing.

"I miss him too." I recognize the voice behind me as Alec's. I didn't hear him walking up. "He'd be eleven now. What do you think he would have been like?"

My eyes fill with tears. "You were his hero. He'd be just like you." I tell him. Alec grabs my shoulder and turns me around to hug me. Alec and I argue a lot, but after we lost Max, I've learned to appreciate Alec a lot more. I could just as easily lose him, and if making sure he knows I love him is all I can do while he's still here, I'll make sure I do it. "You're my best friend, Alec. I love you."

"I love you too, Iz. But I have to go pick up the cake, and drag Magnus out of bed." Alec pulls away from me, and walks toward the staircase to go downstairs and out the front door.

I start setting things up while Alec is out. Maia shows up to help me set up. The boys said I could only invite three people that she didn't already know so we don't overwhelm her. The guest list is: Clary, Jace, Alec, Magnus, Maia, Jordan, Jonathan, Mother, Simon and I.

Jace took Clary out this morning, since they're both early risers. Freaking weirdo's. They left at 8 this morning. It's 10 AM, and Maia and I have just started putting things together. We told Jace to bring her back by two this afternoon.

About half an hour after Maia showed up, Simon and Jordan walk through the door together holding gifts. I smile at Simon's goofy grin and his t-shirt. It says "6-pack abs" and has a six pack of beers on it. He always has funny t-shirts, and he's adorable. I ask Simon to help me with something in the living room, so we can leave Maia and Jordan alone. I think there's something going on between them.

Maia is doing the cooking today, since I mess _everything _up, and I want everything to be perfect for Clary's 16th birthday. Simon glances at my black skinny jeans and purple tank top under a black vest. "You look pretty." Simon compliments. I smile, looking down at the floor. I really like Simon, but we've been friends for almost six months and he still hasn't made a move. I know I'll have to make the first move, but a part of me is worried that he hasn't made a move because he only wants to be friends.

"Thank you, Simon. You look very handsome." he blushes, and looks away.

I hear him mutter something like "I've got nothing to lose." before he marches right up to me, grabs me around the waist and presses his lips lightly to mine. I'm so shocked at first that I don't respond, but one I figure out what's happening I return his kiss ten fold. He tastes like toothpaste, and his lips are softer than they look.

When we pull away, we're both gasping. I breathe out "Finally!"

-Alec-

I walk out the front door, thinking of my little brother. The way his eyes concentrated and his lips formed a smile when he tried to wrestle with me. I always let him win. He used to drive me crazy, following me everywhere. I always wishes he would just leave me alone, but now I miss him. I try to be strong for Iz. She misses him the most. It's strange how things disappear, and I can't seems to say it in a way that makes any sense. Maybe that's because it doesn't.

I insert my key to Magnus's apartment, and turn it. Inside, it looks like he hasn't picked anything up in days. "Magnus, sweetie. Wake up." he groans, and pulls me into the bed with him. I smile, liking the way it feels to be in his arms. "Come on. It's Clary's birthday, and you promised you'd help us decorate." Magnus groans again. "Come on, baby. You have to get up. No one can decorate like you. We need you." Magnus forces his eyes open, with great resistance.

"What time is it?" he asks, groggily.

"A little after 10." Magnus groans again.

"Okay, I'm getting up. But you're taking a shower with me." he demands, and I gladly comply, even though I already had a shower today.

Magnus kisses me hard, and pushes my back against the wall of his shower. It's cool, and I shiver. "I've missed you." I tell him, running my hands through his hair. He grabs some shampoo that smells like oranges, and works it into his hair. The scent of it fills the shower, and I inhale deeply.

After we're all clean, Magnus hands me a towel from under the sink and grabs one for himself. It takes him an hour and a half to do his hair and makeup, and choose an outfit. I wait patiently for him, and smile when he finally announces that he's ready. "Let's do this, Marines!" he calls, pulling me to my feet.

-Clary-

Jace announced yesterday that he was taking me somewhere for my birthday. I tried to tell him he didn't need to do anything for me, but he wasn't having it. So I hop out of the shower and go to choose an outfit for the day. He wouldn't tell me where we were going, so I have no idea what to wear. I decide on going casual, with black jeans, a grey tanktop and my black bomber jacket. I lace up my combat boots, and meet Jace in his room.

When I walk in, he is only wearing blue jeans. His hair is wet, and sticking to his forehead. I apologize, and try to leave, but he says he doesn't care if I see him shirtless since he looked at me naked the other day. Still, I try not to stare at him while he walks around doing things. Until he stands right in front of me, and I just freeze with my eyes on his chest. He laughs, and I look away, embarrassed.

When I look back at his face, I can tell that he has an evil plan. He gently pushes me toward the bed, and my stomach does back flips. _What is he going to do? What if he hurts me?_

Fucking stop it, Clary. He isn't Sebastian. Jace won't hurt you. You trust him, remember?

I fight with myself internally, and Jace lifts me off the ground so he can toss me onto the bed. He's hovering above me, supporting himself with his arms. We're not touching, but I can feel the heat from his body. "Jace, what are you doing?" I ask in an uneven voice.

"I just want to see something." he says, bending his arms and lowering himself onto me. His lips very close to mine. They brush against mine, and I try to push out memories of being in this position with Sebastian. "Clary..." Jace whispers.

"Yes, Jace?" I ask shakily. My heart is being hard, and I'm sure he can feel it beating against him.

"I want to kiss you." I feel his breath brush against my lips. It smells like spearmint, and I want to know if he tastes like it too. I'm about to lean into him, when _I start laughing. _Jace looks taken back, and he rolls off of me. "I'll take that as a no."

"I'm sorry!" I say, covering my mouth. "I just... This hasn't happened in a long time."

"What hasn't happened?" Jace asks, confused.

"I sometimes laugh when I'm nervous. I haven't actually been nervous in a long time. Only afraid." I mumble the last part.

"And you aren't afraid now?" Jace questions, raising his eyebrows at me.

I shake my head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin the moment." I groan, covering my face.

"It's okay. I'll try again later. Let's go." Jace get off the bed, acting like nothing happened and pulls a black t-shirt over his head and shoves his arms through the sleeves of his leather jacket. "I hope you aren't afraid of motorcycles."

**I had fun writing this chapter. I didn't have any plans at all for it, so this just kind of happened. I hope you guys liked it.**

**Leave me a review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	19. Chapter 19

**Dude. We're over 100 reviews. That's awesome, thank you guys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

Jace pulls up to a small cafe and announces that we're getting breakfast first, since we skipped it. Inside the cafe, we approach the boy with the unruly black hair at the counter. We order our food, and go to find a table. I insists on the one beside the window. In the corner there's a small platform where some kid is performing terrible Spoken Word Poetry.

Jace places his elbows on the table and leans forward, looking at me. I smile awkwardly, and lean back in my chair. "What?" I ask.

He's about the answer when the boy from the counter brings our food. He just says "Happy birthday."

I know there was something else he was going to say, but I decide to forget about it. "Thank you."

After we're done eating, we get back onto Jace's motorcycle. I was nervous about it at first, but it's actually not very bad. We haven't died yet, so that's a good sign. I reach around Jace's waist and hold on to him as he cruises down the road. We drive in circles several times, and I realize that he doesn't actually know where we're going. When he pulls into the movie theater that he's passed three times, I laugh at him. "I didn't have a plan, okay." he mumbles, pulling me toward the entrance.

We buy a ticket to whichever movie is playing the soonest, and sit down to wait for it to start. It's noon when the movie starts, and it's TERRIBLE. Jace and I make jokes to entertain ourselves throughout the movie, calling out all of the stupid things that go on in the movie. A few people shush us when our laughter gets too loud, and we quickly apologize but do it again a few minutes later. _I'm having a really nice time._

When the movie is finally over, it's 1:30. Jace mumbles something about needing to waste half an hour, and I don't question him. We just decide to get ice cream. After we're finished we drive back home, and Jace unlocks the door. Inside there are people standing in the living room which is perfectly decorated. Izzy, Magnus, Alec, Jon, two people I don't know and... "_Simon?!" _

-Simon-

After I kissed Isabelle, we tried to act like nothing happened while we decorated, but I couldn't help stealing glances at her. I've only felt this way about one other girl before. My best friend. She moved away two years ago, when her mother died. I came to New York looking for her, but I have very little information on how to find her. When I met Isabelle, I kind of forgot about Clary.

Three other people file in after a while, but I don't look at any of them. I'm too busy paying attention to Iz. She's telling me where to put the gifts, and mumbling something about not having much time. Just after I put the gifts in their designated spot, Alec screams that they're back. I look at the door as a tall blonde walks in. He looks like he could beat me up. Behind him a petite redhead walks in, and she scans the room before her eyes catch mine. "Simon?!" she calls.

"Clary!" I yell back, forgetting about everyone else in the room. She runs to me, and we embrace for a moment.

"How are you here?" she asks.

I run my hands through my dark hair, and look at her over my glasses. "I'm, uh, friends with Isabelle."

Realization strikes her, and she smiles widely. "You're _that _Simon!"

-Isabelle-

Clary walks through the front door with Jace, and a pang of jealousy hits me when she and Simon embrace. I look to Jace his expression matches mine. Simon mutters something about being my friend, and I'm certain that he'll just forget about me now.

I'm glad that Clary is happy, but that doesn't mean is doesn't hurt. I like Simon a lot. I guess that Cupid is fucking irresponsible. This entire day, I've decided, has turned into an unmitigated disaster. I approach them, and Simon is just rambling about how he tried to find her, and I vaguely remember that he told me he was trying to find his best friend.

Clary's brother walks over too. "Seriously? This is Simon?" they both nod. "You're still a dork, I see." Jonathan jokes, punching Simon in the shoulder. Simon tries to pretend it didn't hurt, but I saw him flinch.

"It's great to see you guys again! God, Clary. I missed you so much... And you never called." Simon says sadly.

Clary looks down at her feet before turning away from him. There are tears in her eyes, and she rushes out of the room. "Well... This is interesting." Magnus mutters.

Jace and Jon both say "I'll go talk to her." at the same time. They share a look for a second, and then they both walk in the direction Clary went.

-Jonathan-

My baby sister rushes out of the room, and Jace and I both volunteer to go talk to her. We share a look for a few seconds, and I know that she's told him everything. We both go to find her. We find her in the garden in the back yard. "Hey, CC." I use my nickname for her.

She doesn't look up from her hands in her lap. She's picking at her the skin around her fingernails again. It's something she's been doing since she was little. It used to be out of hand, and she'd have large sores all over her body. It was diagnosed as Dermatillomania, and she's been put on medication for it. Now she only does it when she's uncomfortable or upset. "Hey Jon."

I sit on one side of CC, and Jace sits on the other. "Are you okay?" Jace asks.

Clary looks over at him, just now realizing he's here. He smiles, affectionately. _I'll have to have _The Talk _with him later. _"I just didn't expect to see Simon ever again." Clary looks back down at her hands. "He was my best friend, and I don't know what to tell him. I couldn't call him, Valentine would've been mad at me. I just really don't want to explain everything to him."

"Do you want him to know?" I ask, pulling her hands away from her other one, so she can't pick at them.

Clary sighs. "Yes."

"You don't have to tell him now. Isabelle will be pissed if this ruins your party. Just tell him you'll explain later, and enjoy yourself today." Jace talks to her in a kind tone that he doesn't use with anyone else. I haven't seen him speaking to many people, but I can tell that he treats my sister better than anyone.

Clary mumbles an okay, before standing up and leaving. Jace and I don't move. "Jace, anything you do with my sister, you have to do with me." Jace looks over at me, surprised. "Twice." I add. Jace nods, and laughs before following Clary inside.

-Isabelle-

"You like her." I accuse. Simon shakes his head, laughing.

"She's my best friend, Isabelle. I was just happy to see her again, after I'd given up hope of ever finding her. I like _you, _Isabelle." Simon defends. I'm angry, even though I shouldn't be. Before I know what's happening, Simon is crushing his lips against mine and I can't help myself. I melt into him, running my hands over his chest and his arms.

"Get a room!" Alec makes a gagging noise. Just then, Clary walks back in.

She tells Simon that they'll talk about everything another time. "Isabelle will be pissed if we don't enjoy ourselves today. You guys obviously worked really hard on this."

Jace walks back into the room, looking pale followed by a smug looking Jonathan. "What did you do to Jace?" Clary asks, glaring at her brother.

He laughs loudly, and tells her "We had _The Talk_."

Clary groans at this, but just turns toward me. "So... What now?" she asks me.

I smile widely. "This way." I tell her. Everyone follows me into the garage, where we blacked everything out, and put in strobe lights and a fog machine. Jordan volunteered to be the DJ, and Jonathan told us some of Clary's favorite songs. I introduce Clary to the two people that she doesn't already know, and we all start dancing together. Swaying in the dorkiest ways possible.

-Clary-

I'm dancing with my brother to "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics, and laughing when Jordan plays a slow song. I feel a tap on my shoulder, and see Isabelle asking if she can cut in. I think she wants to dance with Jordan, but she grabs me instead. I laugh at the way she tries to play the man. Simon eventually steals her away, and I've decided that they're a good couple.

I look around, and see Jace standing beside my brother leaning against the wall. They're watching me, and Maia comes up to me. "My boyfriend is the DJ, and everyone else already has a partner. Dance with me?" she requests. I smile, and we sway to the song laughing every time one of us trips. Maia is very nice.

We all dance for hours, and I've danced with everyone at least once. We decide to end the day with cake and my two favorite games: Apple to Apples and Balderdash. The day is filled with laughter.

We're playing Balderdash, and it's my turn to be the reader. We're trying to write out who Norman Johnson is, and when I read Magnus's card, I burst out laughing. I guess I gave that one away. I try to keep a straight face as I read "Neither man, nor Johnson. He was the first person to kiss an elephant."

Everyone burst into laughter and a chorus of "Magnus!"

Magnus just laughs and says "Someone has to be the first."

**Sorry this chapter is kind of... Blah.**

**I couldn't resists adding the "Everything you do with my sister you have to do with me. Twice." My brother says that all the time.**

**I won't be able to update again until Wednesday. See you guys then.**

**Don't forget to review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey guys. So, I messed something up. I forgot that Maia was already the social worker, and I brought her in as Iz's friend. So to correct this, let's say... Maia's mom is the social worker, and she's named after her mom. Problem solved?**

**Thanks to the person who pointed that out to me! You're golden.**

**This is just a Clary and Jace chapter. For fun, and because I love writing awkward things. CHAPTER 20! Already!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Jace-

When I think of it, my fingers turn to fists. I clench them so hard that my knuckles turn white, and my nails dig into my skin to the point of drawing blood. "Jace?" Clary asks, startled. I loosen my grip, slowly opening my fingers trying to hide the damage from her. She reaches for my hand and examines the new cuts. "That's twice in the last hour. What's wrong?"

I look into her emerald eyes, trying to think of any excuse. "Just dreams." I answer honestly. It's been five days since her birthday, and every night since I've either woken up in a panic, or other times I've been disappointed to wake up. I don't know why I'm having these dreams so frequently.

Clary looks down. "Me too." she mutters. "Every night." I sit up from the place on my bed that I'd been laying, and move to the foot of my bed to sit beside Clary.

She's got her knees up, facing me. She's picking at the skin around her nails again. I noticed that Jon always stopped her when she was doing it, but I also noticed that is pisses her off, so I just let her continue. "What do you dream about?" I ask her.

Clary sucks in a breath, and gets a pained expression on her ace. "_What do you dream about?" _she retorts.

I smile at her tone. "Fair enough. I'll tell you, if you tell me." I compromise.

Clary frowns at this, but I can see that curiosity has gotten the better of her. "You first."

I decide not to argue with her, but I leave out the nightmares I've been having. I just tell her "You, mainly." I trail my thumb across her bottom lip. She's hardly let me near her since I said I wanted to kiss her. We've spent every waking moment together, but she's been keeping me at arms length.

"And that's making you upset enough to dig your nails into your hand?" She looks hurt by this. The dreams about her aren't what upsets me, but I don't tell her that. I don't want to talk about the things that happened to me in previous homes anymore.

I lean closer to her. Our faces only inches apart. "It's a little frustrating." I tell her in the most seductive tone I can muster, hoping she'll get it.

"I'm sorry." she says awkwardly, pushing my hand away while I try to play with the curls that have fallen over her shoulder.

"Am I making you nervous?" I pull Clary into my lap, and she squeaks when she collides with my chest.

"A little." she says, trying to straighten out, but she lets me keep holding her in my lap. I briefly wonder if it's because she likes it, or if it's because she's afraid to tell me no. I decide not to ask. "Why would dreaming about me make you frustrated?" Clary asks, innocently. "I'd rather dream about you than anyone else."

I can't stop myself from smiling when she says that. It's cute and sweet. "And why is that?"

Clary laughs. "You're like my best friend. I know we've only known each other for almost two weeks, but you are." I look deeply into her eyes and find nothing but sincerity and affection.

"What about Simon?" I ask. Simon has been over every day to see Clary and Iz. She told him some of her story, but not all of it. She said she didn't want anyone else to know about Sebastian.

Clary leans her head on my chest. "Simon doesn't understand like you do. He was my first friend, and he's always going to be my best friend. But it's different now." I rub circles on her back, careful not to hurt her since I have no idea how bad the bruises are at this point. "You didn't answer my question. Why is dreaming of me frustrating?"

I consider withholding information from her, but it's so much fun to make her uncomfortable that I can't resist. I trail my fingertips across her collarbone. She's wearing a black tanktop that shows off a little bit of cleavage. _Damnit. _She sucks in a breath at my touch, but doesn't stop me. "Because there are things I'll only ever get to do with you in my dreams. And that's frustrating." I whisper close to her ear.

She lifts her head away from my chest, and Clary's eyes flash with sudden realization, and she blushes. "Oh.." is all she says.

"We had a deal. What do you dream about?" I ask.

she looks into my eyes for a second before saying "I'd rather hear more about your dreams." The blush creeps back into her cheeks, and I chuckle.

"I'm an open book." I tell her.

"Okay..." Clary hesitates. "What exactly are these things you'll only be allowed to do in your dreams?"

"I can't tell you." I say in my most seductive tone.

"Why not?" Clary frowns.

"You laughed at me last time. My pride is wounded." I tease.

"I think your pride could take a few hits." Clary teases in return. "What can I do to fix it?" Her tone is just as seductive as mine, but I don't think she meant for it to be. _What a little temptress._

I lean in to her, my lips nearly touching hers. "I want to kiss you." My lips just barely brush hers, and she gasps but she isn't laughing so I guess that's a good sign. I kiss her lightly for only a second, but I don't pull away, waiting for her to respond. Her hands are shaking, and she steadies them on my shoulders before kissing me hard. My hands cradle her face, and she returns my enthusiasm. Her hands slide down to my chest, and linger there, grabbing a fist full of my shirt.

Her lips move in perfect time with mine, and she surprises me when I feel her tongue slide across my lip. I'm not complaining though, and I gladly comply. Our tongues intermingling, tasting each other for the first time. More passionately than any kiss I've had before. I may be getting carried away, but I flip us over and I'm on top of her, kissing her neck. My hands grip her waist, and her hands go into my hair. I nibble at her collar bones. "Jace..." She mutters.

I make a sound that I didn't know I was capable of making. "Jace." Clary says again, with an edge in her voice. _Shit. I'm probably freaking her out._

"I'm sorry." I say, quickly. I roll off of her, giving her space.

"It's okay." Clary brings her knees up to her chest. "I'm fine."

-Clary-

Jace is kissing me. It's pleasant, and so much different than any kiss I've had before. He flips us over, and for a brief second he turned into Sebastian. "Jace..." I mutter, suddenly very afraid. Jace moans, kissing my collar bones. "Jace." I repeat myself.

Jace pulls away, and his eyes go wide. "I'm sorry!" he says. He moves away from me, and I instantly feel like I've lost a vital part of me. I want to reach for him, but my hands are shaking.

"It's okay." I mutter, pulling my knees up to my chest. "I'm fine."

Jace runs his fingers through his hair. "I'm really sorry. I just got a little carried away. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm not scared." I lie. Jace looks at me like he knows I'm lying, but doesn't say anything. "Well, maybe a little." I confess.

"I understand." he says, putting his hand on my cheek. I smile, glad to that he's touching me again. He pushes my hair behind my ear. "What do you dream about?" he changes the subject. I'd hoped he wouldn't ask again.

I sigh. "I never told anyone about Sebastian. There was no one to tell. They didn't care. People only ask how you are to hear you say fine." I look away from him, and he turn my head back to him, placing his lips gently to mine. He pulls away after a few seconds. "I'm sorry. I trust you. I know you won't hurt me, but I'm just so fucked up..."

"Hey." Jace interrupts. "You just need time. I can be patient." His lips twitch into a smile, and his eyes sparkle. I wish I knew a word to describe this feeling. I would have said it.

**Sorry I'm uploading so much later than usual. I got a late start.**

**I'll try to update again tomorrow, but my boyfriend caught my cold, so I might not get the chance to.**

**Hope you guys liked this chapter. Let me know by leaving a review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	21. Chapter 21

**I've had quite a few people saying that my chapters are too short. I know they're not very long, but I've never come across an author who updates as often as I do, so I personally think that the chapters are fine. If I were to write really long chapters I would update a lot less.**

**Thanks to Gillian73 who gave me the idea for this chapter, you are awesome. If anyone else has ideas, I'd love to hear them.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

I watched smoke convulse into the air as it departed from Jace's lungs. He offered the cigarette to me, and I took another drag hoping to asphyxiate any trace of sadness or fear that was left inside of me. It exists relentlessly.

We're sitting on two camping chairs in the garden. It's been two days since we kissed. It's been a little awkward since then, even though nothing has changed. We still spend most of our time together, like he really is my best friend. But we also share glances every now and then that ask questions neither of us know the answers to.

Jace throws the end of the cigarette onto the ground, and twists the tip of his shoe over the top of it, smearing it into the dirt. We haven't said anything to each other all morning. He just took my hand, and I followed him out here. It's not the first time we've shared a cigarette. I caught him smoking in the garden a few days ago, and just sat down beside him. He was surprised that I didn't care, but I guess that I'm used to it. Valentine, Sebastian and my mother are all smokers. Jace says he only does it when he's stressed, but he won't tell me what he's stressed about.

We walk inside, and he turns to go downstairs while I turn toward the kitchen to get some water. I fill my cup, and as I walk around the corner to go back to Jace, I collide with a tall man with dark hair. "Who the fuck are you?" he yells. He's angry. I slowly back away from him, my heart racing.

"Robert! Calm down!" Maryse yells, running down the stairs. "This is Clary. She lives here." The man starts yelling, but the ringing in my ears drowns out all other noises. Everything here drifts away from me, and I'm falling back into an endless monotony. Valentine crouches over me, and his fists plunge into me. I know this isn't real, but the screams escape from my lips regardless.

I hear Maryse yelling "I would have told you if you came home more. Or answered my phone calls."

Arms wrap around me, and I open my eyes, trying to push Valentine out of my mind. I hadn't realized I closed them. "Shh, it's okay." Jace whispers, pulling me away from Maryse and Robert. Jace picks me up, and carries me down to my room. But I'm feeling much better already.

-Jace-

I head into my room and wait for Clary. After a few moments I hear screaming coming from upstairs. I run up and find Maryse and Robert screaming at each other. Clary is backed all the way against the wall. She's whimpering, and her eyes are closed tightly. I turn to Robert. "What did you do to Clary, you son of a bitch?"

He gapes at me. "JACE WAYLAND. Watch your god damn mouth!" _Hypocrite._

"Piss off, Nobby." I say, before walking over to Clary. "Shh, it's okay." I try to comfort her, and her eyelids flutter to reveal eyes harboring confusion. I pick her up because she's shaking, and carry her to her room. I place her gently on her bed, and I'm surprised at how quickly she's recovered from her little breakdown upstairs. She grabs me by the shirt and pulls me to her, crashing our lips together.

She pulls me into the bed with her, and rolls on top of me. "Clary, I'm not complaining, but what are you doing?"

Clary sits up, with her knees on each side of my hips. "I'm not sure." she admits, a blush creeping into her cheeks. "I was just... Curious, I guess."

I smirk. "Curious about what?"

"A couple of things." Clary pushes her hair over one shoulder, looking uncomfortable all of a sudden. _She just attacked me, and now she's embarrassed. HA._

"Go on." I press.

"Well, I wasn't sure if you still wanted to kiss me." she turns her gaze away from me. "I mean, you haven't since..." she leads off, not breaking her eyes away from the wall.

I sit up, and turn her face back toward me. "Of course I do!" I breathe out. "I just don't want to scare you."

Clary sighs, putting her fingers in my hair. "I'm tired of being scared, but what's left of me now?" she places her forehead gently against mine, and stares at me with her beautiful green eyes. "I just wanted to try something."

"Try what?" I ask, confused.

-Clary-

_Awkward as fuck. _"Try what?" Jace asks, flashing a sexy smile. _Yep, still sexually frustrated. Great. _

"Just, you know, see if I could kiss you and _not _freak out this time." _Yes. Awkward as all fuck. _

"Clary!" Jace mocks surprise. "Are you asking me to make out with you?" Jace is back to his normal cocky self, that he's rarely let out lately. And I don't really mind.

"Shut up..." I mutter, getting off of him. I decide that it's time to be bold, so I march over and lock the door, then turn on _Rare _by Man Overboard before returning to sit beside Jace.

"Jeez, Clary. You locked the door and everything. You should at least buy me dinner first. I'm not that kind of girl." Jace jokes, winking at me.

I laugh, but push him back down onto my bed. "I'm not trying to get in your pants, Jace. I just didn't think either of us wanted Isabelle to walk in." I don't wait for him to respond. I don't want to talk anymore, so I bring his lips to mine. He doesn't hesitate to deepen the kiss, and it just feels right. For the first time, I'm kissing someone and I'm not afraid. I smile against his lips, and I can feel him smiling back at me.

"What?" he mumbles, flipping us over so he can be on top of me. His blonde hair falls perfectly over his golden eyes, and Man Overboard plays in the background. I smile at him again, and he returns my expression. And for just a few moments, everything is perfect...

Until Robert knocks on my bedroom door. "Why the fuck is the door locked?!" he yells over the music.

Jace groans and gets out of bed to get the door. I sit up, trying to look like we weren't doing anything. "What do you want, Robert?" Jace asks harshly.

"Are you two fucking?" Robert asks, abruptly. I can't tell if he's angry right now, or if this is his natural tone. Jace looks at him surprised. "Answer me, Jace Wayland." Robert sounds like my mother when she got angry and used my full name.

"No." Jace spits. "We're not. Not that it would be any of your business if we were." Jace storms out of the room, leaving the door opened and Robert follows. I consider staying here, but I'm just as much a part of this as anyone else. I follow after them upstairs to where everyone else has gathered around the table.

They've ordered pizza again, for the third night in a row. I sit between Isabelle and Jace, and Robert takes his place at the head of the table. No one speaks, and I get a feeling that he doesn't know the silence is unusual for them. "When were you planning to tell me you took in another child, Maryse?"

Maryse shakes her head. "Check your voicemail. You would have known by now if you'd answered your phone every now and then."

Isabelle shift in her chair, uncomfortably and the doorbell rings. Izzy gets up to answer it, and comes back with Simon and Magnus by her side. "Great. More people. Who are they?" Robert says, angrily.

"Daddy, this is Simon..." Iz starts. "My boyfriend." I grab Jace's hand under the table, knowing that there's going to be more yelling.

"No." is all he says about it. "Who's the sparkly one?" he asks, gesturing toward Magnus.

Alec gets up and stands beside Magnus. "Dad, this is Magnus." he laces his fingers together with Magnus'. "My boyfriend." Alec says, hesitantly.

"Fuck no." Robert says, simply. As if any of this is his choice.

Jace gets a devious smile on his face. "Well, while we're all confessing things, I _am_ fucking Clary." Maryse's jar drops to the floor. Robert doesn't look surprised at all. Izzy squeals, and beside her Simon looks angry, and he's glaring at Jace. Alec and Magnus are laughing.

"Jace!" I whisper.

He gives me a look that says _"Just go with it." _I'm about to deny it when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I look at it, and groan.

_**Sebastian: I miss you, sweetheart.**_

_Great._

**Leave me a review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	22. Chapter 22

**Yes, I know that smoking is bad for you, and it's an ugly habit. Thank you. Buuuuut... They're 16 and 17. Teenagers like to do things that are bad for them.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Jace-

I place my elbows on the table, and lean forward. _I just got an idea_. "Well, while we're all confessing things, I _am _fucking Clary." Clary's head snaps up to look at me, and I just laugh at her expression. She gives me a look that demands for an explanation.

Isabelle makes a noise that is typically Izzy: annoying and loud. Alec and Magnus hunch over laughing, because they're probably the only ones who know what I'm doing. Simon is glaring at me, like I've just announced that I warship Hitler. _I wonder if Isabelle knows that her boyfriend is in love with Clary... I wonder if Clary knows._

The only person in the room who isn't reacting is Robert. He's angry, obviously, but that's nothing new. He's learned to keep his expression cold, always. Sometimes I forget that it wasn't always this way. Robert turns back to Magnus and Alec who are holding hands, and recovering from the laughter that had overtaken the room. "When were you going to tell me that you're a homo?" Alec frowns, and starts to explain himself, but gets cut off.

Maryse groans. "This isn't new to any of us. Magnus and Alec have been together for almost a year. You'd know that if you were here for more than two days over the last year and a half." She dismisses Robert's protests, and turns to Clary and I. "How long have the two of you been sleeping together? Are you using protection?"

I smirk and turn to Clary, but she isn't paying attention. She's looking at her phone, with a worried expression on her face. "Clary? Are you okay?" I whisper to her.

"Secrets don't make friends, guys." Magnus chimes. Alec bumps him affectionately with his shoulder.

Clary ignores him, and just nods to me. "Well?" Maryse pushes. Everyone looks at us expectantly, and Clary blushes but doesn't say anything. _I'll figure out what's wrong with her later. Right now I have the perfect opportunity to mess with everyone._

"About a week. And of course we're using protection, but..." I trail off, with a fake panicked expression.

"BUT WHAT!?" Robert yells, failing to contain his anger. _He needs to go to therapy or something._

"The condom broke." I lie, doing my best impression of a scared teenager. _This is gonna be good._

Everyone erupts into a chorus of "Oh my God!" and "What!" followed by "You're the man, Jace!" from Magnus, but Clary doesn't react at all. She just looks down at her fidgeting hands in her lap, and I'm not sure if she's playing along or if there's something that she isn't telling me. Probably both.

-Clary-

I was hoping that all of this was over, but of course it isn't. I was stupid to think that it was. Even now, I'm somewhere _safe _but we're plunging toward chaos. Everyone is screaming, and Jace said something about a broken condom, and I make no move to deny it even though it is strictly false. I'll let him have his fun, and straighten everything out later. Jace is trying to get my attention, but I feel so obliterated. This will never end. Sebastian will never leave me alone.

He's overdosed on crazy, and I've spent the last two years tiptoeing across the path his fingers have taken over my skin, trying to scrub away any traces of him in the shower every day. I've jumped into the emptiness he's left me with, and been moved by his madness. I was foolish to dance on the hope that this would come anywhere close to changing.

I'm brought out of my head by angry footsteps walking toward the door. I flinch when Simon slams the door behind him. Isabelle meets my eyes, and I know she thinks I should be the one to follow him. Outside, Simon is pacing back and forth like he always does when he's trying to figure out what to do next. He's upset. "Simon.." I say, reaching out for him.

He shakes me off. "Seriously, Clary? Him!?"

"Really? That's what you're upset about?" I laugh.

"Hell fucking yes I am." Simon turns away from me, and for a moment I think he's going to leave, but he doesn't walk toward his car.

"I'm not sleeping with Jace. He's joking." I try to explain. "Though, I'm not sure why you would care about that, anyways. It has nothing to do with you." I'm angrier than I intended to be, but I can't go back now.

Simon's shoulders slump, with relief I guess, but I'm not sure why. He still doesn't look at me. "But you want to. I've seen the way you look at him." he pauses "And I've seen the way he looks at you."

I groan, frustrated. "Why does that bother you? Jace is nice, and he's been here for me." Simon turns around, and without a word his eyes say it all. "Simon, you're with Isabelle."

"I know, and I like her a lot, but I'm_ in love _with you, Clary." Before I call tell Simon that I don't feel the same, Jace walks out and stands beside me. Simon was about to walk past me, back into the house but he stopped, grabbed my waist and whispered "Tell me I'm too late."

Our eyes met for a brief second and I whispered "You're too late." I see his face fall, but he walks back to Isabelle, and I see how happy she is when he pulls her into his arms. I know I'm doing the right thing for both of them.

I look away from them, and let my eyes rest on Jace's arms. His scars, specifically. They're harsh, and far worse than anything I've been left with. They've been faded by age, but they're still very visible. They're bold and it's evident what deep and ghastly wounds they had been. They were clearly never tended to. He puts his arm around me when he becomes aware of my gaze.

A black car pulls into the driveway, and I groan. _Great. Everyone's here. _Sebastian steps out, and walks toward me like it's the most natural thing in the world that he's here right now.

-Jace-

"What do you want, Sebastian?" I growl.

"I wanted to see Clary." he says innocently, turning to her. "I miss you, and you haven't been answering my texts or phone calls."

He tries to reach for her, but she jerks away from him. "Leave me alone, Verlac." Clary spits. There isn't a trace of fear in her voice, but she's angry and it's venomous.

"Don't be like that, Clarissa." Sebastian keeps his voice calm, but he's obviously angry. He isn't very practiced in the art of keeping his cool. He reaches for her again, and this time she punches him right in the eye. _That's my girl._ He looks surprised, but he lunges for her. I step in front of Clary, and when my fist collides with his stupid smile, his teeth cut into my hand. It's worth it to cause him any sort of pain.

"I know what you did." I whisper to him, before punching him in the throat.

He falls toward me, and swings his fists toward my face. My lip splits, but he can't do any further damage before Alec pulls him off of me and slams him onto his back. I recover quickly, and regain my footing. I kick him in the ribs, but I can see that Clary is upset, so I leave Verlac to take whatever punishment Alec deems fit. Clary grunts when I take her by the arm and pull her away from Sebastian. She wants to hit him again, but I don't want her to get hurt so I hold her back.

Clary brings her face to my chest, and I hold her but don't break my eyes away from Alec. He's got Sebastian pinned against the wall, taking hits to the face and stomach. After he's decided the kid has learned his lesson, he slams him into the wall and lets him slump onto the ground. I let go of Clary, and we watch in confusion as Magnus walks over to Verlac, with something in his hands.

He starts dumping the contents of a small vial onto Sebastian's head, and over his body. "What is he doing? What is that?" Clary asks. Magnus is splashing something on him, in the same way that someone would splash you with Holy Water.

"I think it's glitter." I laugh out. "Magnus, are you throwing glitter on him?" I call. Magnus just smiles and nods. _Of course he is._

**So... I just really wanted Sebastian to get beat up, and have Magnus throw glitter on him. I don't know. It amused me. Hope you guys enjoyed that. I love it when Magnus does and says weird things.**

**I kind of let out the poet in me, during Clary's internal dialogue near the beginning of her point of view. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I'm glad you guys liked the Glitter Thing! I'm glad I have such amazing reviewers.**

**Warning: This story is rated M, just in case. This chapter has some things that may not be suitable for younger reads. And I don't condone underage drinking. It's just a story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary-

"So, why did we just beat up that kid?" Alec gestures to Sebastian, who's hunched over, dragging himself toward his car.

"Because he's bothering Clary." Isabelle offers. Alec and Magnus look to me. They're the only ones who weren't out here when Sebastian showed up. They came out just as Sebastian punched Jace. I didn't think Alec seemed like the violent type. I had him pegged as a pacifist, but he kicked the shit out of Sebastian. For that, I am grateful.

I nod at him, and smile. "Thanks, Alec." I turn to Jace "You should've let me hit him more." Jace smirks at that, but doesn't say anything.

"Well, this is great. I'm just gonna go sulk and wallow because I'm so mediocre. You know where to find me in you need me to pump your gas or wash your car or whatever." Simon mutters, walking toward his car. Jace chuckles, and Isabelle calls after him but he doesn't pay attention.

"Okay..." Isabelle murmurs, turning toward the door and going inside.

"Well, today has been fun!" Magnus says, pulling Alec to his side, and kissing his cheek.

"Did everyone hear what Simon said... Before Sebastian showed up?" I ask Jace.

He looks down at his feet, and nods. "Yeah, we heard."

"Well, in that case, I'm going to go talk to Isabelle." I kiss Jace quickly, and head up to Isabelle's room. She's curled up on her bed, he heels abandoned at the door. "Hey, Iz." She jerks her head toward me in surprise. She didn't hear me come in.

"Hey, Clary." she smiles. "What's up?" She tries to act like nothing is bothering her, but she's a bad actress.

"I just..." I start, but I have no idea what I was ever going to say to her. "I'm sorry about Simon."

Isabelle laughs, bitterly. "It's fine. I already knew." She sighs, and looks down at the floor. "I just don't really know what to do now."

I walk over to sit down beside her. "He really likes you."

"Yeah, I heard that. And he loves you." Isabelle leans back, propping herself up on her elbows. Izzy hesitates for a moment before asking "How do you feel about him?"

I suck in a breath, harshly. "He's like my brother." I see Iz relax a little. "And I really like Jace." I admit.

"Yeah, we all noticed that when he made his little announcement." Isabelle gives me a knowing look.

"He was kidding." I push the hair from my face. "We're not sleeping together."

"Did he at least kiss you yet?" I blush, and Iz raises her eyebrows. "I'm gonna take that as yes."

-Simon-

_She doesn't love me. _I'd always thought that when I told a girl I loved her she'd say it back. Or at least _I know. _But all Clary said was that I'm too late. As it turns out, it's only pain that's real. So, how do I let her go? I've been in love with her my whole life, and I don't know how not to. That would be like taking everything I am, and changing it.

My phone chimes, and Isabelle's name lights up the screen. "Hey, Iz..." I start.

"Hey, Simon. We're all going out tonight. Come with? Please?" Izzy says sweetly.

"Okay, what time should I meet you?" I ask.

"Come over at seven. Wear something nice." Iz hangs up before I can ask her what that means. _Wear something nice _could mean anything. I decide to send her a quick text to ask where we're going.

-Jace-

"Jace, Isabelle is making us go to Pandemonium with her tonight. So... Get dressed." Alec says, from my doorway. I guess Iz and Simon made up quickly, because he just got here a few moments ago. I could hear his loud footsteps walking through the front door, and was instantly annoyed.

I wait half an hour to start getting ready, knowing that we'll be waiting for Isabelle forever. I can hear her through the wall helping Clary get ready. She's been rummaging through the closet for the last fifteen minutes. Once it sounds like they're almost ready, I pull on a pair of dark jeans and a black button up. _Good enough._

Upstairs Alec, Simon and Magnus are waiting together. I join them, and we wait for the girls. Clary comes up first, wearing a maroon dress that comes three quarters of the way down her thighs, a black coat over the top, open in the front, with sleeves that stop at her elbows. She's got grey sued boots that come to her knees, a matching bracelet and a long silver necklace. Her hair tumbles delicately over her shoulders, and down her back. There's something about her eyes. I am fully aware that eyes don't breathe, but hers look breathless. "Wow." I say. "You look beautiful." Clary blushes, and Simon makes and annoyed sound.

Isabelle comes up a few moments later, and Simon blurts out compliments. _He's just trying to get laid. _We all pile into Magnus' creepy van, and drive to Pandemonium. Isabelle pulls Simon into the crowd upon entering, and Magnus takes Alec to find something strong. Clary stands there uncomfortably, and I drape my arm over her shoulder. I lean down next to her ear "What do you want to do?" I ask.

Clary shrugs. "I need a drink." She mumbles, and heads in the direction that Magnus dragged Alec. A few minutes later the bar tender is placing two glasses of _I don't even know what _in front of Clary and I.

A tall man with brown hair approaches us, looking Clary up and down. "You two look a little young to be drinking."

"Thank you. What a valuable opinion." I call over the loud music. The man tries to strike up a conversation with Clary, but she just steps closer to me, taking a big gulp of her drink. I take a sip of my own drink, and it's gross as hell but I drink it anyways. After our drinks are gone, we place the glasses on the bar and I take Clary's hand. "Let's dance." I lead her into the crowd and pull her into my arms. We move to the beat of whatever song comes on for the next several hours, only stopping to get another drink every now and then.

By the time we've worn ourselves out it's well after midnight. We stumble around drunk, looking for the others. We find Isabelle and Simon making out in the closet. Alec and Magnus are swaying around with the crowd, probably just as drunk as we are. "Let's just take a cab." I tell Clary, sending a text to everyone else saying we're leaving so they don't look for us.

She follows me out of the club, and we hale a cab. We stumble into the back seat, and I give the driver our address. Once he starts driving, Clary leans up against me and falls asleep almost immediately.

-Clary-

I wake up in Jace's arms, being carried into my room. He places me on the bed, nearly falling down on top of me. "Stay with me." I mutter into my pillow. Jace smiles and climbs in beside me. I pull his lips to mine, and maybe it's the alcohol taking over, but I slowly slide his shirt up over his stomach and run my hands over his flawless skin. A guttural noise rises from his throat, and he deepens the kiss, tangling his hands into my hair. He pulls away, trying to catch his breath. A lustful look masks his face, and I pull him back to me.

My hands carefully unbutton his shirt, and he helps me slide it off his shoulders. Jace moans, pressing his lips to my neck. "Clary, you're drunk."

"So are you." I say, reaching for the zipper of his jeans. He doesn't object as I remove them, and kiss all over his chest. _God, I'm drunk. _It's too dark to see him, so I try to figure out how his body looks using my hands. I let him remove my dress, and feel grateful that it's dark. There's still a bruise on my back, and though it's significantly smaller, it's not sexy. I reach one hand behind my back and unhook my bra.

Jace groans, and I don't stop him when his hands start to wander to the more intimate parts of me. "You're beautiful." he mutters into my hair. "But we should stop." I pull away from him, hurt that he doesn't _want me. _"Clary." Jace tries to pull me back to him. "I don't think you understand."

I sit up in bed, dizzy. "You don't want to. It's fine." I take his hand in mine, trying to reassure him.

Jace chuckles. "I _really _want to. I just think it will mean more to both of us if we're sober when it happens." he explains. I settle back into his arms, both of us still in our underwear. _This is gonna be awkward in the morning._

**Hey guys! I hope you liked this chapter. Sorry it's so much later in the day than usual. I was having a hard time concentrating today.**

**I'm going to try my hardest to update tomorrow, but I don't have all day like I usually do, so I can't make any promises. If I can't, the next update will be on Wednesday.**

**Leave me a review. Send me ideas, if you have any. I love hearing them.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	24. Chapter 24

**Awkward mornings today, because I love it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

I peel back my eyelids with great difficulty. Jace's arm is thrown over me. _Shit. I'm naked. Jeez, what happened last night? _I close my eyes again, trying to piece the night together. We went to the club, where some creepy guy hit on me. Jace and I started dancing, and drinking. And then... We came home, and I didn't want to be alone, so I asked Jace to stay with me. We started kissing and _ohmygod. _I remember the feeling of rejection, after he told me to stop. _I can't believe I tried to sleep with him._

"Jace, wake up." I shake his shoulder and he groans, pulling me closer to him. "Jace, please wake up." When he hears the desperation in my voice, his eyes shoot open. It's dark because the only light in my room come from those basement windows they have at the top of the room, and even those are covered by blackout curtains.

It's barely light enough to see his expression, but he's clearly confused. "Clary, what happened? Did we..." he takes in my naked frame and my face turns an unattractive shade of red.

"No, we didn't." I say, a little too quickly. "Though I was all for it. You said no." I blurt. _Why did I tell him that?_

His eyes wander down my body and he smirks. "What was I thinking?" he laughs. "And why are we naked if we didn't do anything?"

"Technically, we're not entirely naked." I say, pointing toward his boxers, and my underwear.

Jace looks down at my body for a moment. "Oh, my mistake. We can remove these last articles of clothing if you wish." he winks at me, and I giggle.

"Well, this is fun, but I'm very uncomfortable." I pull the blanket up over my body, and take it with me over to my dresser. Jace protests, saying that it's freezing. "Go get dressed." I tease, pulling some pajamas on.

Jace mutters "Fine, but I'm coming back in a minute." and sneaks over to his room to find his pajamas.

-Simon-

The moment I wake up I become very aware that I'm not wearing any clothing. I look down at a black mess of hair resting against my chest, and notice that Izzy isn't wearing any clothing either. I try to shift without waking her, but she lifts her head and looks at me with her beautiful eyes.

_Maybe one say I could love Isabelle. _The thought feels far away, like it isn't mine. But I know that one day soon, I might. And I look forward to that day. "Good morning, beautiful." The night comes rushing back to me. Kissing in the storage closet. Getting in the cab. Stumbling in, sneaking up to Iz's room. Making love to her for the first time.

"Good morning." she flashes me a dazzling smile, and I realize how stupid I've been. Pining after a girl who isn't interested when I have everything I've ever wanted right here with Isabelle.

-Magnus-

**(A/N: I took some inspirations from Michael Lee's poem **_**Waking up Naked **_**for this situation)**

I'm suddenly very aware that it is **cold. **I struggle to pry my eyes open, but when I do I am rewarded. Alec is sound asleep beside me.

I take in my surroundings and realize that we're both butt naked, and covered in leaves. "Alec, love, wake up."

Alec's eyes open effortlessly, and he looks just as handsome as he always does. _Morning people. _"We're naked." Alec observes. "And there are a lot of leaves in here." he adds.

"Yes, thank you. Do you remember what happened?" I ask, and Alec shakes his head. "We were so gone." We're startled by the sound of leaves rustling in the front seat, and a cat pops out. i just stare at the small creature for a few moments before saying "I think I'll name him... Chairman Meow."

Alec chuckles and says "I love you, Magnus."

"I love you too, handsome. Now... We should look for our clothing."

**Sorry it's so short, but I don't have a lot of time today.**

**Looks like everyone had an interesting night... Let me know what you think.**

**See you on Wednesday.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey guys! So glad it's Wednesday, and I can finally write again.**

**Just so everyone knows my update schedule: I update every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday. It will usually be very short if I update on Sundays.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Alec-

I stumble through the doorway to my house, spent. I hear Magnus' van pulling out of the driveway, and smile. He said he needed to clean out the van, and get all of the necessities for his new cat, Chairman Meow.

I make my way up the stairs, reluctantly. I make it to my room just in time to hear the aftermath of Isabelle's night through the wall. _Gross. _I turn on my shower, half because I spent the night covered in leaves, and half to drown out the sound of Isabelle and whatever guy she brought home. _Simon, hopefully._

A few moments later, I step out of the shower smelling like lavender. I slip into dark jeans and a grey t-shirt. I'm about to go downstairs to find something for this headache when I see Simon walking out of Izzy's room. "Hello Simon." I mumble as he walks by. He mumbles a greeting before making his way down the stairs. In Isabelle's room, she's sitting at the end of her bed, looking pleased with herself. "Hey, Iz. I see you had a good night."

Iz smiles, looking down into her lap. Her hair cascades over her shoulder in a curtain of black strands. "Yeah, I did." She looks up at me. "How was yours?"

"I would tell you if I could remember." my little sister gives me a questioning look. "Magnus and I woke up in the back of his van, without any clothes... And covered in leaves." Iz starts to laugh, and I can't help but smile. It is a pretty strange scenario. "On the bright side, Magnus got a cat. He named him Chairman Meow."

"Magnus is interesting." Isabelle mumbles. "Is dad still here?" she asks a little louder.

"His car wasn't in the driveway, so probably not." I tell her.

Isabelle looks down, disappointed. "He doesn't even say goodbye anymore." I sit down beside her, and put my hand on her shoulder giving it a light squeeze. I think she's the only one who still holds on to the hope of our father returning to the man he was before Max died.

Isabelle is the strongest person I know, but she holds on to her old life for longer than she should. She's a windstorm of fists and_ fuck you_.

-Jace-

After putting my pajamas on, I sneak back into Clary's room. She laying down, facing the wall and I slip into the bed behind her. She turns to face me, pushing strands of hair away from her eyes. I pull her into my arms, and we fall asleep for another hour before I feel the bed shift beside me. "Where are you going?" I ask, trying to pull her back into bed with me.

"I need to take a shower." Clary protests, resisting my efforts to make her lay down. I let her go, and she comes back a few moments later smelling heavily of grapefruit. Her hair is pulled back into a knot on the back of her head, and she's only wearing a towel. I stand in front of her, enjoying the view. "Stop staring at me." Clary blushes.

"Come here." I open my arms so she can lean into me, but she doesn't. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Jace, I'm kind of naked." she protests, stepping away from me.

"I don't mind." I wink at her.

Clary sighs. "Of course you don't." she laughs. "I'm getting dressed." She reaches into her dresser and pulls out clothing before walking back into her bathroom. _Damn _I think, but decide to go take a shower.

-Clary-

When I come back, Jace is gone. I hear the faint sound of water running coming from Jace's room. I check the clock on my phone, and see that it's 10 AM. Jon is supposed to be coming over in two hours. Upstairs, Simon and Izzy are in the kitchen hovering over a plate of Eggo Waffles. I walk past them, pretending not to notice the googly eyes they're making at each other, and start to make breakfast for Jace and I.

I place the tray on Jace's bedside table, and wait for him to come out of the shower. I hear the water turn off, and Jace walks out a few minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waste. "Oh, hey Clary." he says when he sees me, paying no mind to the fact that I'm staring at his bare chest. He takes me hand, pulling me to him. I crash into his chest, but I don't mind. I was dying to get close to him.

I stammer. "I made breakfast."

Jace looks to where I'm pointing, and smiles. "I see that, and it looks delicious. Thank you." his lips press against mine, and I stand on the tips of my toes. Jace's arms snake around my waste, and he groans against my lips. I run my hands up his biceps, and down his chest. I feel my feet leave the floor, but I pay no attention. Jace pushes my back against the wall, never removing his lips from mine. Jace pulls away and his tawny eyes pierce mine. "What time is your brother coming over?"

I glance at the clock on my cell phone. "An hour an a half." I announce. Jace groans, but sets me back down on the floor and we start eating our breakfast after he puts clothes on.

Iz and I are trying to decide what to make for lunch when the doorbell rings. I rush out of the kitchen to answer it, and throw my arms around my big brother. "Hey Jonathan!" I say, pulling him through the door.

"Hey CC. How are you?" Jon asks.

"Good. Alec and Jace beat up Sebastian. Again. And Magnus covered him in glitter." I laugh at the last part, thinking of how long it probably took him to get all that glitter out of his hair and clothes. Not to mention the interior of his car. Jon laughs with me, but doesn't say anything. He just gives Alec and Jace a glance of approval.

We all make our way into the living room, momentarily jockeying over the coveted recliner. We compromise and give it to Jonathan. I sit on the edge of the couch, closest to Jonathan. Jace sits in the middle, and Alec sits on the other side of him. After we're all seated, Jace laces our fingers together. I see Jonathan's face when he notices, but he quickly averts his eyes pretending he didn't see.

We ramble about pointless things, laughing until the smell of something burning leaks into the living room. "I should go help Isabelle before she burns down the house."

-Jonathan-

Clary bounces out of the room, toward the smell of something burning. I turn to Jace, not wasting any time. "Are you fucking my sister?" I blurt, trying to sound intimidating.

Jace laughs nervously. "No." he recovers. "I'm not." Something flashes in his golden eyes, and I'm not convinced that he's telling me the truth.

"Jace, are you lying to me?" I ask calmly. Jace face was masked with a grave expression. He leans over to Alec and says something I can't hear. Alec nods and heads in the same direction as Clary did. "Well?" I press.

"I'm not sleeping with Clary." Jace assures me.

I wait for him to explain why he sent Alec away, but he doesn't. "You asked Alec to leave for that?"

Jace frowns. "No, I just..." Jace trails off.

"You kissed her?" I offer.

"Well, yes." Jace admits. "But that's not what I was going to say."

"Okay. Don't fuck my sister." I warn. "What did you want to say?"

"I don't think we'll be doing... _That _any time soon." Jace says, uncomfortable. He looks into my eyes and says "Sebastian has been bothering her. He won't leave her alone. She and I had a fight, and she called him. He picked her up, and she came back in pretty bad shape. And... She told me everything. I don't think she's regrown the pieces he stole from her."

"_Verlac fucked my sister?_" my voice is venom. _He is the last person I would ever let near Clary. _I already knew this, but having Jace confirm my suspicions makes me furious all over again.

Clary walks back into the living room, and observes our situation. "Are you giving Jace the talk again?" she asks, annoyed. Clary takes her seat beside Jace again, and I roll my eyes when he laces his fingers through hers again.

"No." Jace and I say in unison.

-Clary-

I walk into the kitchen as Isabelle walks out. "Hey, Simon." I mutter. It's the first time we've really spoken since he made his little confession yesterday.

"Hey Clary. I'm really sorry about yesterday." he says quietly, not making eye contact.

"I'm not mad." I tell him. "I just don't want Izzy to get hurt."

"I don't want to hurt her." Simon interjects. "I think..." Simon mumbles. "I think I'm falling in love with her." he admits.

"Simon, that's fantastic!" I say, stepping around the counter. "Did you sleep over?!" I ask.

"Yeah, we uh... You know." Simon blushes. "I can't believe I didn't see it before." Simon smiles widely, and I'm so glad that he's happy. "Did you and Jace... Sleep together last night?" Simon asks in a hushes voice.

I feel my face turning red, and Simon chuckles. "He slept in my room, but nothing happened." I answer, matching his volume. "Though we were drunk, and I was trying." I admit, embarrassed. "Jace stopped me."

Simon smiles. "Good man."

-Magnus-

I drag myself through the door to my apartment, lugging all sorts of things for Chairman Meow. _Where is he? _"Chairman Meow?" I call, looking around the living room. "Where are you, you magical bastard?"

**Hey guys. I'm sorry it's kind of uneventful. I'm just having more trouble than usual getting back into writing again after being away from it for a few days. I just ended up writing aimlessly.**

**I'll try to make it longer tomorrow.**

**Let me know if there's anything you'd like to see. I would love to hear from you.**

**Review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	26. Chapter 26

**To clear up some confusion: Chairman Meow is not magical. I just like it when Magnus says silly things, like "Magical Bastard"**

**To Knives are Sharp and Hateful: I would love to answer your question, but it says your private messaging feature has been disabled.**

**Warning: This chapter may not be appropriate for younger readers. (Lemons. Kind of.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

We all gather around the table, the smell of melted cheese filling the room. "This looks delicious, guys!" Simon says, scooping a big chunk of lasagna onto his plate.

"Thanks. Clary did most of it though." Izzy frowns. _Someone needs to teach her how to cook. _Everyone throws compliments around for our cooking, but I'm not paying attention. Jace and Jon have been throwing glaces at each other all day, and I intend to find out what's going on with them. It seems that every time I've left them alone, when I come back all of their conversations halt. It's happened several times throughout the day.

Magnus is talking about his new cat, who is apparently a _magical bastard, _but I'm tuning him out. Jace is sitting beside me, with my brother on the other side of him. They're whispering something, but I can't hear what it is. I lean over closer to them and ask "Why are you two being weird?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, little sister." Jonathan flashes an innocent smile, and Jace just bumps me lightly with his shoulder.

"Right..." I trail off, deciding to ask Jace about it later.

-Jace-

Jonathan and I have been trying to come up with the best way to deal with Sebastian all day. I think Clary suspects something, but when she asks at the dinner table Jonathan just says "I don't know what you're talking about, little sister." Clary drops the subjects, and straightens in her seat.

Simon and Isabelle are sitting across from each other, smiling at each other every few seconds. Alec went to Magnus' a few hours ago, and Maryse is out of town on business, so it's just the five of us. Izzy gets up to turn on music, claiming that it's too quiet. I hand her my phone, telling her to play music from it. When _Gone Sovereign _by Stone Sour comes on Clary, Simon and Jonathan all sing along.

After we're done eating everyone makes their way into the sitting room, and Simon starts talking to Jonathan about some video game. Jon seems at least mildly interested and we hold light conversations until nine when Jonathan announces that he needs to go home. We all wave and say goodbye. Clary hugs him, and shows him to the door. After he's gone, Clary takes my hand and drags me down the stairs. Iz and Simon howl at us, and I laugh but Clary's face stays serious.

Once we're in my room, Clary stops abruptly. "Tell me what's going on." She demands.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I look down at her, and she obviously isn't buying it.

"Tell me." she repeats.

"Jon and I are just worried about you." I admit.

"Because of Sebastian?" I nod. "Did you tell him?"

"Yes." I answer, taking a seat at the edge of my bed. Clary stands in front of me, silently. "Are you mad?" I ask. She shakes her head, but still doesn't say anything. Her face is masked with a neutral expression.

-Clary-

He told my brother. What am I supposed to do now? I've spent the last year trying to keep this from him, and now he knows. _Fucking shit._ I sit at the edge of Jace's bed, and he puts his arm around me. I don't mind, I'm always dying to get close to him. I want to press my skin to his, but I'll never say so. Jace leans over to me, and looks at me seductively with his golden eyes, and I can't stay upset. I lean the rest of the way until our lips meet. He cradles my face between his hands, moving his lips in perfect harmony with mine. He moves his hands into my hair, pulling me closer to him.

I move my hands to the hem of his shirt, and let them linger there for a while. I start to lift his shirt when his hands goes from my hair to my hips and we're laying in the bed, Jace on top of me. Our lips part just long enough to pull his shirt over his head, and then he's back to kissing me. His tongue investigates past my lips. He tastes like apples and he smells like the forest. Earthy and clean. He bites gently on my bottom lip, moaning into my mouth. He reaches for the hem of my shirt, and I help him lift it over my head.

His eyes trail over my body, wearing only jeans and a black bra. His fingers run softly over my collar bone, to my back. He doesn't struggle when he unhooks my bra, and I'm not surprised. _He's done this before. _Jace throws the bra onto the floor while I reach for the zipper of his jeans. I partially remember being in a very similar situation last night, but my mind was foggy from a night of dancing and alcohol. Everything is clear right now.

Jace's jeans fall to the floor, and mine follow shortly after. This is where we stopped last night, and part of me wonders if Jace will tell me to stop again. I grab his shoulders, pulling him back down on top of me, pressing our lips tightly together. I reach for his boxers, and he doesn't stop me from pulling them off. His hands linger around the bands of my panties, and he looks at me, waiting for me to tell him to stop. I just nod, and lift my hips so he can remove them. _Oh my God. We're naked._

Jace props himself up on his hands, hovering above me. A guttural noise rises from his throat, and a question mark masks his face. I can't bring myself to say anything, and the yes gets stuck in my throat, so I just nod my head. Jace pushes into me forcefully enough that I gave a small, high-pitched cry of surprise. After that, his strokes are careful and gentle. His eyes never leave my face, and I try to smile at him but I just get lost in this moment. Until now, I'd never had sex just because I _wanted _to. There was never any other choice, and I never could have imagined that _this _is how making love is meant to be.

It feels safe and comfortable... And _good_. Jace moves his left hand to push the hair from my face. He's being very careful, and it's adorable. "Jace?" I whisper between soft intakes of breath.

"Yes, Clary?" Jace whispers into my ear. His breath on my neck tickles, and sends shivers down my spine.

"You're not going to break me." I inform him. He smiles, flashing a chipped tooth but otherwise perfect teeth. He takes the hint, and speeds up his pace. I rock my hips in rhythm with his, hoping not to be classified as a _Lay-There-Lover. _He still doesn't avert his eyes from my face, but I reach up and pull his face to mine, missing the contact of his lips on mine.

"Clary." Jace moans my name, pressing his forehead to mine. I can tell by his rapid movements, the sound of his voice and the look in his eyes that he's close. He grunts, and I rock my hips to meet his thrusts, until he collapses on top of me. He breathes heavily, and rolls off of me, pushing his hair from his face. "I love you, Clary."

Shock runs through me. It feels so eccentric. So far from the truth, but I know that he meant it. And I realize that I'm giving away the only thing that has ever really been mine. "I love you too."

**Hope you guys liked this chapter.**

**So, I've never really written a sex scene before, besides the one with Sebastian near the beginning of this story. So, I'm sorry if it isn't very good. I wasn't sure how to describe everything. Leave a review, and let me know if you hate it.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey guys! Great feedback on the last chapter. I'm glad no one said it was terrible. You're all too nice.**

**We're over 200 reviews! That's awesome. You guys are golden.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

I wake up feeling rested, for the first time in a very long time. My eyes open without resistance. Jace is still sound asleep beside me, his blonde hair fallen over his eyes. I shiver and scoot close to him, hoping that he's warmer than I am. A soft heat radiates off of his skin, and I snuggle closer. "Your hands are freezing." Jace complains, but doesn't pull away.

"You're warm." I say groggily. Jace smiles, rolling onto his side to face me. My eyes roll over his face, down his bare chest. His lightly tanned skin is pulled tightly over his muscular arms and chest.

His chiseled chest erupts into laughter, and I look away embarrassed. "Come on, we need to take a shower." Jace announces, pulling me from the bed. We're still naked, but Jace hardly seems to notice.

Jace turns the shower knob and water streams from the shower head beating against his face, dampening his golden hair. It falls perfectly into his eyes, but he flips it away spraying me with water that shoots off the ends.

-Isabelle-

"Good morning, Love." Simon says, pressing his warm lips softly to my forehead. "How did you sleep?"

"Fantastic." I say, waggling my eyebrows at him suggestively. "How did you sleep?"

Simon laughs, softly. "I had a dream that I was building a bamboo hut with a chimp named Chuck. He was wearing a wifebeater and a baseball cap, just handing me supplies for our hut."

"What." is all I say. It's more of a statement than a question. Simon chuckles, his chest shaking under my head. "You're too cute." I tell him.

Simon looks longingly into my eyes. His dark eyes search my face for something. "I'm falling in love with you." Simon whispers, shyly.

I smile, but don't say what I'm really thinking. Am I his second choice, since he can't have Clary? I think I might be, but i don't say anything about it because I love Simon, and I hold to the hopes that he might one day feel the same way about me. That he'll feel for me what he feels for Clary. "Me too."

-Sebastian-

They've taken her from me, but I have a plan to get my girl back. It's taken far too long to come to this conclusion. Clarissa Morganstern belongs to me. I'll kill anyone who tries to come between us.

I know her better than anyone else. I know every scar she has, and every freckle. I've spent hours admiring every inch of her body, memorizing it. I know how to get under her perfect skin. I know exactly what to threaten her with, so she'll come willingly. She's spent too long obeying Valentine and I. She doesn't know how not to anymore. I've let her have her fun, being rebellious but it's time for Clarissa to come home, where she belongs.

I pull out my phone, type up a little text message and send it to Clary.

-Clary-

I sneak into my own room, wearing nothing but a towel. My cell phone is sitting on my bed, lit up with Sebastian's name.

_**Sebastian: Meet me outside of your house at midnight.**_

I roll my eyes and text back.

_**Clary: I'm not going to do that.**_

_**Sebastian: Yes you are, Clarissa. If you care for your new friends, you'll do as I say.**_

My heart leaps. _He'll hurt Jace, Izzy and Alec if I don't go with him. _I can't let them get hurt because of me.

_**Clary: Okay. I'll do it.**_

_**Sebastian: Good girl.**_

_This is a really bad . Fuck. Fuck._

**Hey guys. Sorry it's short, but I don't have a lot of time today. I have to act like a real person, and leave my house for once. See you tomorrow.**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

I try to spend as much time as possible with Jace, kissing him often, knowing that I might not see him ever again. Despite being fully aware of the fact that Sebastian might kill me, or keep me locked up for the rest of my life, I am not afraid for myself. I have to keep my loved ones safe.

Jace smiles, draping his arm over my shoulder. We're sitting on the back porch, looking out over the garden. I lean my head on his shoulder, enjoying the way it feels to be close to him. The sun has started to go down. My last day here has gone by way too quickly. "What are you thinking about?" Jace asks, breaking the silence that has lingered for well over an hour.

"You." I answer, simply.

His lips curl up lightly at the edges. "What about me?" he asks, casually. I turn toward him, dangling my legs over his lap.

"This, mainly." I answer, running my hand down his chest. He smiles, pulling me closer to him and I remind myself that I can't start crying. Not now. _I'm going to miss him. _What I want to say is that I'm sorry, but instead I tell him for the second time "I love you."

"I love you too, Clary." Jace sighs, bringing my lips to his. Kissing never felt so sad. It feels like goodbye, and I can't seem to explain it in a way that makes sense. Maybe that's because it doesn't.

-Later-

It's 11:53. Sebastian will be waiting for me soon. He told me to pack a bag, meaning that I won't be coming home this time. I've thrown a few things into my backpack. Clothing. Sketch book. Pencils. The photo of Jon and I. _I'll never see my brother again._

I take my phone off of the charger where it's been sitting all day. I know I should bring it, just in case, but I don't want Sebastian to find it. I decide to hide the phone, along with the charger underneath everything else, and pray that he doesn't search my bag. I'll need to phone to call Jace after... After I kill Sebastian.

Jace is sound asleep in his room. I know I can't say goodbye to him for real. The best I can do is leave a note. I tear a page from my sketchbook, where I'd drawn a photo of Jace and I sitting on the tree bridge, holding hands and smiling. We look happy, and like we're in love. He said it was his favorite place, and it was the first time he held my hand.

On a sheet of college ruled paper I write a note.

_Jace,_

_He said he'd hurt you. I'm so sorry._

_If I don't make it back, just remember that I love you._

_-Clary_

A tear escapes from my eye as I place the note on my bed beside the drawing on my bed. I don't look back as I walk out of the room, up the stairs and out to Sebastian's car. "Hello, Sebastian." I say coldly.

Sebastian hardly acknowledges me. We drive in the opposite direction of his house. _Where are we going? _After driving for what seemed like forever, Sebastian turned down a road that I've never seen before. I pay close attention to the way we got in here, making note that the road is called Amberwood.

We pull into a small house by a lake. The walls are painted a light shade of blue, with white trim. Sebastian and I get out of the car, my heart leaps, but I tell myself to be strong. _If you don't do this, he'll never leave you alone. No one is safe. You have to kill him, Clary._

In the entry way Sebastian leans down close to my ear. "Welcome home, Clarissa." His voice is low and seductive. If I didn't know better, I would think he was harmless.

I put on my sweetest smile, because I have to play along. "Thank you, Sebastian." I step away from him, walking into the house. The walls are plain, and white. The living room is fully furnished, and I wonder briefly how Sebastian found this place. And how long he's been planning this. "Nice place." I mutter, nonchalantly.

I feel Sebastian's arms wrap around me, and I hold back a shudder. "Let's go to sleep." Sebastian says, his breath on my neck. "The bedroom is this way." He puts his hands on my shoulders and turns me around. We follow the hallways to the end, and take the door on the left. There's a queen sized bed in the middle of the room. Sebastian removed his jeans, and slides into the bed, under a green blanket. I slide hesitantly in beside him, still in my jeans. He looks at me strangely. "You're going to sleep in your jeans?"

I sigh, pulling my jeans off under the blanket and throwing them to the floor. I'm relieved when Sebastian rolls on his side, facing away from me and goes to sleep.

**Hey guys. Sorry it's short, i just ran out of time. I'll try to update tomorrow, but I have very little time right now.  
**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	29. Chapter 29

**IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM.**

**Sorry I didn't update on Sunday. But I'm back now.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

I wake up with a heavy arm draped over me. I try to wiggle out of the hold he has on me, but he stirs and his eyes fly open. "Good morning, beautiful." Sebastian tried to sound seductive, and I suppress a shudder.

"Good morning." I say, trying my best not to sound disgusted. _He has to trust me if this is going to work. _"How did you sleep?" I ask sweetly.

Sebastian ignores my question, and presents a question of his own. "Will you marry me?" I make a surprised noise, and search his face for something that says he's joking, but he looks entirely serious.

"I don't want to get married, Sebastian." I sit up, getting out of the bed, but he doesn't release his hold on my hand.

"Why not?" Sebastian sounds genuinely hurt. _He is batshit fucking crazy. _

"I'm 16." I say, simply. "We can't even legally get married." I almost add that I hate him, and I'm only here because I want to kill him, but I bite my tongue. I have to be good until I find a way to do it.

"Let's have a baby." Sebastian suggested. _What the fuck is wrong with him? He kidnaps me, and now he wants to play family?_

"I don't want to have a baby either, Sebastian." I try to keep my voice calm, and my expression blank. He can't know what I've planned for him.

"Come on." Sebastian says, pulling my arm. I fall roughly onto the bed, and he brings his lips to mine. The kiss is sickening. He tastes like cigarette smoke, and blue jolly ranchers just like he always has. The combination makes my stomach turn.

-Jace-

_This can't be happening. She's gone. _I pace, holding my phone to my ear. Clary's voice mail picks up. I don't leave a message. I've already left dozens, but she hasn't answered. I give up on getting a hold of her, and call Luke instead. "Officer Garroway." he says.

"Luke, it's Jace." I start. He starts to say something, but I cut him off. "Sebastian took Clary. She's in trouble, we have to find her."

"Her boyfriend?" Luke asks. Anger stirs inside of me, but I try to keep my cool.

"No. _I'm _her boyfriend. Sebastian is fucking insane, and he's been sexually assaulting her for over a year." A growl raises from my throat, along with unbelievably levels of anger and worry. Everyone is out looking for Clary, but none of us have any idea where to even start. All we know is Clary's phone number, and what kind of car Sebastian drives. We've been driving through neighborhoods, looking for his car without any luck. I know it's a shitty attempt, but it's all we can do. "Can't we trace her phone or something?" I plead.

"We can try it." Luke tells me to meet him at the station. All the way there I felt like I was folding into nothing. _What if we can't find her? What if he's hurt her? _I try to push the negative thoughts out of my mind, but they're relentless and won't keep away.

-Clary-

The day goes by agonizingly slow. I've looked around for a weapon I could use every chance I get, but I haven't had much luck. He left this afternoon for well over an hour, locking me in the house while he was gone. I looked everywhere for a gun, or a hatchet or anything I could use. The best I can do at this point is take a kitchen knife to his chest, and I'll do it. I'll use the knife, a broken pipe, my own two hands. I don't care. I want him dead.

I'd like to see his blood spill. He's made anger into something I can touch. For the last year Sebastian Verlac has done terrible things to me, and he pretends that we're in love or something. He's threatened my loved ones, and I want to see him pay for his actions.

I wish that Jace was with me. I miss his warm smile, and his honey colored eyes, but I just have to stay strong long enough to end this. No more of Sebastian's games. I'm tired of being afraid of him. I'm tired of knowing that Verlac is alive.

Sebastian ordered a pizza for dinner. He pushes me roughly onto the couch and sets the pizza on the coffee table in front of us. He flits through channels on the TV, turning on something that I tune out. A high pitched sound rips through the house. The doorbell.

Someone is here.

**Okay, so I haven't decided what's going to happen yet. So, let's take a vote: Do you want Sebastian to (finally) die? If so, who should kill him? Clary is obviously planning to do it herself, but maybe it would be better if someone else did it? PM me or review with who you think should kill him, if you want him to die. It could be anyone in the story. Or I guess he could just go to jail.  
**

**Let me know.**

-IWriteNaked


	30. Chapter 30

**chapter 30! Woo!**

**Just to clear things up: I want to finish this story soon (within like 5 chapters at the most). I have another idea that I want to write, and this story is just getting kind of.. Blah. I'd like to wrap things up soon, to make time for another story.**

**I'm going with the most popular vote, on who should kill Sebastian. Thanks to everyone who sent in their ideas and opinions. I appreciate it, and was actually surprised about who you chose.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

Sebastian approaches the door slowly, in a defensive stance he swings it open to reveal the very last person I had expected to see standing on the other side of the thresh hold: Magnus. He's got his hair in his usual style, with glitter making it shinier. He stands tall and strong, completely dauntless. _How did Magnus find us? _He looks past Sebastian and meets eyes with me, smiling mischievously. Sebastian grabs Magnus by the collar of his shirt, pulling him inside, letting the door swing shut behind him. "How did you find us?" Sebastian barked.

"A magician never reveals his secrets." Magnus mutters sarcastically, pulling out of Sebastian's grip. I can hear his shirt ripping from across the room, but no one else seems to notice where the seam on sleeve of Magnus' t-shirt has come apart. The right side of his shirt slumps off, showing his shoulder and the top of his chest on that side. "I've come to collect Clary." There's no hint of emotion in Magnus' voice. He has to know that it won't be this easy, but he's palying it cool. I want to ask what the hell he's thinking, but I can't with Sebastian here.

"Right." Sebastian said, clearly annoyed with Magnus' presence here all of a sudden. We all just stand there silently, not sure how to approach this situation. Sebastian let's out a frustrated sigh. "Well, I can't let you go now. You'll only come back with others." Magnus nods understandingly. _No. Magnus can't be here. I have to do this myself._

Magnus shrugs his shoulders, boredly and paces past Sebastian to sit on the couch. I look at Magnus confused and mouth _what are you doing? _He just smiles smugly at me, motioning for me to sit down beside him. I sit quietly waiting for something to happen, but I'm not sure what.

Sebastian walks angrily out of the sitting room, and I turn swiftly to the sparkly man sitting beside me. "What is going on, Magnus!?"

His face stays completely calm, and he even smiles at me again. "I have a plan." Before I can ask what he's planning, Sebastian comes back into the room, his feet hitting the floor with loud thuds. In his hand is a gun. _Where the fuck did he hide that? I looked all over._

For a moment I'm frozen, remembering the dream with the gun, Sebastian and Valentine. I remember how badly I wanted to pull the trigger, putting a bullet into both of their skulls. Nothing else sounded better at that moment, but that was just a dream. This is for real, and I can't mess this up or Magnus and I could both die. I won't let that happen.

He points the gun in his hand at Magnus, and I jump up blocking the way between Sebastian and Magnus. "Sebastian, are you crazy? You can't shoot Magnus!" I put my hands up, reaching for him. My hands are shaking, and my breathing is labored but I have no other choice than to try to take the gun away from him. _I have to keep Magnus safe now too. Son of a bitch. _It was different when the only life at stake was my own. Now, if I die... Magnus dies. Sebastian pushes me out of the way before I get too close. I stumble, but regain my balance swiftly. "I won't shoot him as long as he does as I say." he mutters, pushing me behind him roughly. I try to get around him, but he blocks me. "Walk over there." he says to Magnus, pointing across the room. On the floor there's a small cellar door that I hadn't noticed before. Magnus walks carelessly over, not even flinching at the gun in his face.

-Magnus-

"Open it." Sebastian grumbles unhappily, pointing toward the cellar door. I lift the hatch, and pull the square hunk of floorboards up. The hinges are silent, thankfully. _The bugger is going to put me in the cellar. Perfect. _"Get in." Sebastian growls. _He really needs to calm down before someone get's hurt... _

I sneak one last look at Clary, searching for any noticeable injuries but she seems to be in perfect health. A little pale, but that's nothing new. The only thing really wrong is her expression. She's afraid, which is understandable. She's been here with this crazy person for nearly 24 hours.

I take careful steps down the ladder into the wine cellar. It's dark, and damp down here. I hear the door close above, the bang it made echoing through the air, as I place my feet firmly on the ground. Sebastian clearly doesn't have a plan, but I do. I can easily get out of here, which makes everything easier on me. _Moron. _

I wait quietly to hear their footsteps taking them further away from me, but so far they've hardly moved. I'd guess they're still on the couch. Muffled voices come from above, but I can't make out what they're saying. I click the flashlight app on my cell phone, shining it around the small dank room. The walls are covered in wine shelves, but there's no booze down here. _Bummer. _There's a questionable liquid oozing from the floor, causing the carpet to make a disgusting squishing noise beneath my , the loud bang of Sebastian's footsteps and Clary's smaller clumsy footfalls suggest that they're going to the bedroom. _That son of a bitch better not touch her_. I dial Alec and he answers on the first right. "Magnus. Are you okay?" worry is leaking over in his voice.

"I'm fine. I found Clary."

Alec gasps, asking one million questions. All of the basics. "Where are you. Is she okay? What's going on? Does Jace know?"

I laugh lightly as his tone. "She's fine. I'm in the cellar, but I can easily get out because Sebastian is a moron. I have a plan, Alec. I need you to get everyone and bring them here. I'll text you the address."

-Clary-

I walk casually into the kitchen, filling a glass full of water. Sebastian hasn't left the couch, so I take the opportunity to hide the kitchen knife in my boot. I have to walk carefully in order to avoid cutting myself on it, but if I'm going to do this it has to be now. Back in the living room I announce that I'm going to sleep. Sebastian insists on joining me, but has to pee first. I hide the knife under my pillow, and quickly change into my pajamas.

"Hey beautiful." Sebastian mutters, walking into the room. He pulls his shirt off, and tosses it on the floor. I'm sitting on the bed, inching my hand toward the knife as Sebastian inches toward me. I'm scared to death to find out what his dead body might look like. My hand wraps firmly around the handle of the knife, as Sebastian's lips crush unpleasantly against mine. I grip the knife harder, liking how solid it feels in my hand, whereas my insides feel anything but solid.

My soft heart hardens, remembering all of the terrible things this man has done to me. Sebastian moans against my mouth, running a calloused hand down my bare arm. The thought of taking someone's life is eating away at me, but at least once this is over I will be free from him. I might asphyxiate if he stays alive for much longer. "I love you, Clary." Sebastian whispers, kissing across my jaw and down my neck. "Tell me you love me." His grip on my arm tightens, and I know I'll have a bruise in the shape of his hands.

"Do you want to know the truth, Sebastian?" I ask. He's back to kissing my neck, but he mumbles a sound that I take to mean yes. "Life fucked me harder than you ever did." I pull the knife swiftly from under the pillow, driving it deep into Sebastian's stomach, hoping to hit some vital organ.

His eyes open wide as he pulls away from me. He shifts his gaze from me to the knife in my hand that's still sticking into his stomach. He draws back slowly, until the tip of the knife exits his body. A trail of blood streams from the wound, soaking into his jeans.

**Well... I hope everyone enjoyed that. I'll see you tomorrow.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around with the characters.**

-Clary-

Sebastian stumbles back, bracing himself against the wall. His hand clutches the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. His black hair falls over his eyes, and his perfect teeth come into view. _He's smiling. _"That was uncalled for, Clarissa." His voice is throaty, and pained. Sebastian is scary calm, his voice is cool, and his smile is bright in contrast with his black eyes.

I should make a break for it. Find Magnus and get out of here before Sebastian regains his footing, but I'm frozen in my spot. _I stabbed him. _A smile breaks out of my own face, and for just a second both of us are laughing in a harmony of dark humor. And then he lunges for me, his bloody hands grabbing my arms, pinning me to the bed. Warm blood drips from his knife wound, and the way it hits my skin feels like rain. I smile again, knowing that even if I die right now, I've caused him pain.

His hands are wet with blood, and they feel slick as he wraps them around my throat. _This is it. I'm going to die. _My lungs start to ache, begging for the air that's being cut off my strong calloused hands. My vision is splotched with black spots, and I know that I don't have much time left. My fingers dig into his knife wounds, and he flinches but doesn't loosen his grip. My vision is darkening, but I jam my fingers further into the opening until he lets go and I fill my lungs desperate to catch my breath. "You little bitch!" Sebastian yells.

I know I need to move, and get away from him but I'm gasping trying to catch my breath. Sebastian has stumble off the bed, and fallen to the floor. I'm on my feet in an instance, wobbling out the door and down the hallway. "Magnus!" I call breathlessly, throwing open the cellar door. "Magnus, please come up." I sob into the darkness, but instantly feel safer when I hear him shuffling up the stairs.

"Clary, we have to get outside." Magnus says, quietly. "The others are outside." Magnus' eyes drift down to Sebastian's blood on my neck, face and arms. "What happened, Clary? Are you hurt?"

"I stabbed him." I say, pulling Magnus toward the front door. The door flies open, and cool air assaults me. It feels good in my lungs.

Magnus grabs my wrist, pulling me to the back of the house. It's dark out, and the sky is clear. The moon reflects softly off the lake, in a stream of light. "Clary!" I girls voice resonates in the air. I look around and see a long thin figure running toward me.

"Isabelle!" I call back. "What are you doing here?" Behind her the silhouettes of four men approach me. Jace, Jonathan, Alec and Simon.

"We were trying to find a way in." Alec says, wrapping his arms around Magnus. "You scared me to death." he whispers in Magnus' ear, but we all hear.

Isabelle's arms drape around me, and I give her a small squeeze before pulling away. "Jon!" I breathe out, and pull him to me. "I thought I'd never see you again." I sob into his shoulder.

"Shh, Clary. It's okay. I'm here now." Jonathan comforts me. "Did he hurt you?"

"I..." I try to tell them what happened, but the words won't come. "I took a kitchen knife to his stomach." My voice is small, but I think everyone heard me. I don't let go of Jon, but I pull Jace into the hug, and I'm sure it's awkward for both of them but I don't care. I need them close to me right now.

"This is all very sweet." A cold voice sounds from behind us. I pull away from the hug reluctantly and meet eyes with Sebastian. He still isn't wearing a shirt, and there's blood on his jeans. The only thing that matters though is the gun in his hand.

**-IWriteNaked**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary-

Sebastian takes measured steps toward me and all I can do, all any of us can do, is stand here and hope he trips or something. "Come here, Clarissa." Sebastian says calmly, reaching out for me. I don't move, and he grabs my arm roughly. "Cooperate, and I won't kill your friends."

"Clary, don't." Isabelle's voice is edgy.

My heart thrashes violently inside of my chest, and I remind myself to be strong. _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. _I step toward Sebastian, and feel a hand on each of my arms, pulling me back and pushing me behind them. Jonathan and Jace.

Sebastian points the gun toward me brother. "I always hated you." he spits.

Jonathan stands, not at all daunted. "Go ahead, Sebastian." Jon's voice was steady and calm. My brother has never been afraid of anything, and this situation isn't any different.

"Give Clarissa to me, and I'll let all of you live." Sebastian turns the gun of Jace, who doesn't flinch. No one moves out of my way.

"Just let me go." I whisper, defeated. Iz laces her fingers through mine. The contact makes me feel solid again.

-Jace-

Sebastian starts waving his gun around, barking orders at everyone. He says several times that Clary belongs to him, and demands that we hand her over. I won't let him hurt her again. I take a step forward, and I'm about to tackle him when Jonathan jumps in front of me, taking Sebastian to the ground.

They struggle against each other, before finally separating and scrambling to their feet. The gun is still in Sebastian's hand, and he's raised it, pointing to Jonathan's chest. A gunshot echoes through the air, and both men fall to the ground at the same time. Clary rushes to Jonathan's side, leaving everyone looking around for the reason that Sebastian has fallen as well.

Luke approaches, his service revolver still raised in his hands. _He shot Sebastian. _I turn my attention to Clary, kneeling beside her brother. There's an eruption of blood coming from his chest. Clary places her shaky hands over it, trying to stop the bleeding.

-Jonathan-

"I need you to be alive." Clary sobs, pressing her small hands to the wound on my chest.

"Shh, CC, I'm here." I tell her, even though I know I won't be here for much longer. This is it for me, it's the end. "I love you, little sister." Jace drops down beside Clary. "Jace." I gasp, now struggling to breathe. "Keep her safe. Promise me." My voice is labored, and there are tears in my eyes now, but I need to be strong for CC.

"I promise." Jace's voice is gravelly.

"Jon, no." Clary cries. "I can't be here without you." The moonlight catches her hair, making it glow softly, like the fireplace at our mothers house.

"I never could have existed without you, CC." I barely get the words out.

The officer that took down Sebastian drops to the ground beside me. "Help is on the way." He reassures me, but I know that it is too late. From the look in his eyes, he knows too.

"CC." I struggle to take a breath now, the pain in my chest is too much. "I love you." Clary wipes away the tears on her cheeks, but they're replaces seconds later. "Remember..." I gasp "CC, we're Golden." I repeat something our mother used to tell us when we were small.

"I love you, Jon." She's never meant anything so much. She's all I have left in this world, and I just hope I'm leaving her in good hands. "Please." she breaks down. "Stay." She leans forward, still keeping pressure on my chest. Her head rests lightly on my shoulder, and I struggle to lift my hand to her head. There's nothing left for me to say.

The last thing I hear before everything blacks out is the sound of sirens, and my baby sisters inconsistent breathing.

-Clary-

Nothing moves; even breath is withheld. The birds have fled the trees; their nightly songs of love vacate the winds. Above the stars fade away, their shine no longer able to punctuate the blackness. Hours pass in eerie silence. I know people are speaking to me, but I can't hear what they're saying. _We're golden. We're golden. _My brothers voice echoes in my ears, drowning out everything else.

Days go by, blindly. I can't even bring myself to speak when spoken to. _I never could have existed without you. _Jace doesn't leave my side, though I'm not much for company. I'm grateful that he's here.

How am I supposed to learn to live without Jonathan? "Clary?" Jace mumbles, sitting beside me on my bed before lapsing again into silence. I lean against him, bracing myself for another wave of unrelenting sadness. The world spins in a hazy ring around me, as time moves on but I do not.

**So... One more chapter, and then this story is over.**

**I'm sorry I killed Jonathan... It upset me a bit, but it felt right.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary-

One year later...

_"Some said fight, some said flee, a few said fuck, but none said breathe." -Michael Lee, We're Golden._

I kneel beside the grave with my brothers name carved carefully into the tombstone. _Jonathan C. Morganstern. _His name has been sliced precisely into every fiber of me, like stigmata. It has been one year today, and the pain has not lessened. There is a deep ache in my chest, worse than anything Sebastian or Valentine could have left me with. The hole still isn't healing.

Nothing can fill the negative space that losing Jonathan has left me with. It turns out that grief can be bottomless. How much pain, how much anger, how much bitterness you can feel is something you don't realize. You don't realize how permanent death is. How unrellenting it is. I miss him every day. I miss him in the mundane things. I miss him when I hear music. But I guess at some point the pain goes from unbearable to something you can live with.

It's been a journey that taxed both my mind and soul. For months my life had been thrown into this raw stage of madness. A murkey twilight in which my fears take other forms. A nightmare that doesn't end upon waking.

Jace slumps to the ground beside me, placing his hand lightly on my back. "Are you okay?" he asks gently. He's stayed with me through everything. When I didn't trust him. When I didn't leave my room for days at a time, and when all I did was cry. He's been here, always. Keeping me safe, just like he promised.

I nod, not trusting my voice. Time passes, but there's nothing for me to say. I've spent the last year trying to put it into words, with little success. I've drawn Jonathan countless time, filling entire sketchbooks with nothing but his face. Trying to draw what he would look like now, adding age to his features. I rise slowly from the ground, blinking tears from my eyes. "Let's go." My voice shakes, as Jace rises from the place he has been kneeling.

By the car, everyone is standing there with pained expressions on their faces. They'd insisted on coming with me, despite my request that I do this alone. Everyone pulls me into hug, one by one all asking me if I'm alright. All I can tell them is "We're Golden."

_"Death does not come when the body is too exausted to live. Death comes because the brilliance inside of us can only be contained for so long. We do not die. We pass on. Pass on the life burning through our throats. When you leave me, I will not cry for you. I will run into the strongest wind I can find and welcome you home." -Michael Lee, Pass On._

**Well... I just want to thank everyone for sticking with me through this story. It's been fantastic hearing from all of you, and I hope some of you will check out my new story for the Mortal Instrument. It's called "Fatally Yours" and the first chapter is already up.**

Thanks so much.

-IWriteNaked


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